Astonishing Feats of Memory!

Thomas has worked on his branch line for many years and knows it very well

“You know just where to stop” said his driver, “You could almost manage without me!”

Thomas became conceited.

“Driver says I don’t need him any more”

“I’d never go without my driver” said Percy, “I’d be too scared”


Then I can’t remember the rest of it

do you remember the gist of it at least?

It all ends in near-tragedy and Thomas returns to the yard with his metaphorical tail between his legs, having received his comeuppance.

So the trains are sentient but they…have drivers? What do the drivers do then?

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Yeah, he drives into the station masters house (through the wall) during breakfast and then his wife (not Thomas’ wife, the station master’s wife) says “You silly engine, you’ve ruined breakfast, now I’ll have to make some more!”

And then the Fat Controller sends him off somewhere and says he’s gonna be replaced by a diesel engine called Daisy and Thomas goes “A d-d-d-d-diesel sir? D-d-d-Daisy sir?”

And then Donald and Douglas (Scottish trains) go “Dinnae fess yerself, Thomas, we’ll soon have ye back on the rails!”

My memory is such a twat.

Important stuff for work? Nah, forget that shit almost instantly.

Insignificant detail about a cartoon from the 80s? Oh yeah, lock that shit in mate.



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I’m reading a book about sentient ships at the moment and they basically go insane if they don’t have a closely bonded person on board and you’ve now ruined it for me because I’m not going to be able to read it without imagining the Thomas the Tank Engine Skyrim mod.


What’s happening here?

I just performed an astonishing feat of memory

Thomas the Tank Engine is probably the biggest twat in children’s fiction isn’t he?

(I think there’s a thread in this)

Is that the Iain Banks one where the ships have well stupid names?

That’s odd as I’ve been banging on about “Tugs” constantly this last weekend which is a show about sentient boats from the makers of the Thomas the Tank Engine TV adaptation!

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AAAYYYY OOOOOOP, said t’fat controller.

there’s a thing on netflix about memory and this woman can learn and remember a sequence of 200 numbers in 10 minutes, by converting them into letters in her head and then making a story out of them.
that’s cheating though imo


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No, the Robin Hobb ones. Unless you find Paragon, Vivacia and Ophelia (maybe???) to be stupid names, in which case: kind of.

All the time.

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*metaphorical legs

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