Attention Supermarkets

Please save yourselves money and your customers distress while helping the environment by baking your cookies for less time.


Dear Balonz,

Just buy proper biscuits like an adult.


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If I was not a sauve bastard I would make a variant on this joke:

McGrath: “Why are you so fat?”

Brandes “Because every time I fuck your wife, she gives me a biscuit.”

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look at balonz with his environment oven


I think, over the years, the supermarket cookies are definitely getting harder.

  • Same as it ever was
  • Yes, I concur with this observation

0 voters

Agreed. If they’re not basically raw, I’m not interested.

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And what the fuck are we doing about it? The fight back starts HERE.

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Clever little tip for you: the cookies from mini (metro) supermarket are softer and chewier than their large out-of-town mega-mart versions

I’m going to need to see your data for this.

This does not help me today or on an average workday.

I’ve eaten it :yum:

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obviously, because it’ll make it a better than average workday

I had to squeeze about a dozen bags the other day before I found one with an acceptable give. We shouldn’t have to live like this!


When you’re picking out your supermarket cookies, are you giving the packet a quick squeeze to determine how soft they are before deciding on a packet?

  • Obviously
  • No, I’m a chump

0 voters

Yeah, these were the best and still overdone. I am feeling low.

Best supermarket cookie is from:

  • Waitrose
  • M&S
  • Tesco
  • ASDA
  • Sainsbury’s
  • Morrison’s
  • Co-op
  • Other

0 voters

  • Biscuits
  • “Cookies”

0 voters

I agree with Nick

Have you ever heard the Bruce Springsteen song Queen of the Supermarket? It’s almost in “so bad it’s good” territory.