Attention Supermarkets


Please save yourselves money and your customers distress while helping the environment by baking your cookies for less time.


Dear Balonz,

Just buy proper biscuits like an adult.



If I was not a sauve bastard I would make a variant on this joke:

McGrath: “Why are you so fat?”

Brandes “Because every time I fuck your wife, she gives me a biscuit.”


look at balonz with his environment oven


I think, over the years, the supermarket cookies are definitely getting harder.

  • Same as it ever was
  • Yes, I concur with this observation

0 voters


Agreed. If they’re not basically raw, I’m not interested.


And what the fuck are we doing about it? The fight back starts HERE.




Clever little tip for you: the cookies from mini (metro) supermarket are softer and chewier than their large out-of-town mega-mart versions


I’m going to need to see your data for this.


This does not help me today or on an average workday.


I’ve eaten it :yum:


obviously, because it’ll make it a better than average workday


I had to squeeze about a dozen bags the other day before I found one with an acceptable give. We shouldn’t have to live like this!


When you’re picking out your supermarket cookies, are you giving the packet a quick squeeze to determine how soft they are before deciding on a packet?

  • Obviously
  • No, I’m a chump

0 voters


Yeah, these were the best and still overdone. I am feeling low.


Best supermarket cookie is from:

  • Waitrose
  • M&S
  • Tesco
  • ASDA
  • Sainsbury’s
  • Morrison’s
  • Co-op
  • Other

0 voters

  • Biscuits
  • “Cookies”

0 voters


I agree with Nick


Have you ever heard the Bruce Springsteen song Queen of the Supermarket? It’s almost in “so bad it’s good” territory.