Aural hygiene

What do you use to keep your lugholes clean?
Do you subscribe to the idea that ‘you shouldn’t put anything smaller than your elbow into your ear’?
Cotton buds are absolutely fine, aren’t they?
Anyone syringe / olive oil / ear candle their tabs?

Cleaning your ears with cotton buds is without doubt one of life’s greatest pleasures. Have to make sure you don’t do it too often as you want a bit of build up. Sheer bliss.


had my ears syringed a few weeks ago with a massive comedy clown syringe like this

no difference in hearing

Sometimes when I’m cleaning my ears out with cotton buds, I walk around, and while I’m walking I’m thinking “This is an incredibly dangerous thing to do” but I still do it anyway because I don’t give a FUCK.

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Is this actual size?

Fairy liquid dabbed on one end of two cotton buds, use the Fairy liquid side in each hole and then use the non-Fairy liquid side to dry them.

I keep them dirty.

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Surely they can make a card/paper type one. I even have vague memories of them existing.



bigger irl. maybe the size of a medium can of men’s sure deodorant

What is the purpose of this? Who put this idea in your head (ears)?

If I were to continue with this lie, I would have said about how my Gran did it and it’s really effective or something.

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There are certain parts of the body that should not be cleaned other than extremely gently and superficially (cough).

Ears is and example of this. If you are removing wax, you’re removing the substance that allows the self-cleaning process to work. Leave your lugs alone!!


It is good to see that your honesty shone through in the end and you haven’t used my post as an opportunity to mock my gullibility.



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(I always think of Waxy Gordon - can’t even remember which one he was in Boardwalk Empire)

What’s the worst that could happen…?

Can’t you just dig about in your big toenails instead if you want a hit of mankiness?

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I have too much respect for you as a poster and as a man to ever mock you.

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do you ever have an itch around your eye area when you’re on a bus, and scratch it and think ‘if this bus made any sudden movement i could be in a world of pain here’