It’s not reasonable but the parents are probably shithouses as well for raising such an awful person.
what do you mean?
oh bollocks. Need to up my game. Maybe the same photo every day would suffice!? Don’t want to be below average in another category of life.
just getting the adoption papers ready. I’d like to be jeffs Dad.
‘should you put photos of your kid online’ is framing it in your own personal belief. How can one answer that? “Yes” implies you have a duty to do so, “No” implies the rest of us are morally questionable.
Question should really be, “Are the risks of putting photos of your kid online outweighed by the benefits”*
*obviously there is another aspect regarding the fact I presume you mean ‘on social media’ when you say online, as I’d guess you are using some kind of system like drop box or a home NAS share to make photos available to remote relatives? Or maybe you’re going via post anyway.
okay, loads of good points. i maybe meant “share” rather than post. We used a Flickr account protected by access rights that allowed us to control who saw them and what they could do with the photos for the first year. after that, photos became sent over WhatsApp (sure, owned by Facebook and stored on a Server, but still private and not shared widely.
I guess my point is the same as “should” you feed your kid junk food, or “should” they watch four hours of TV a day, but I think that I might be a bit blind to the inference of the word should be quite honest, so i apologise if i have offended anyone.
i wrote a blog post about before our daughter was born. i don’t judege folk posting photos most of the time (for example, I like yours, as they are always good photos and stuff) but another friend literally posts anything that their kid is doing and has done since the day they were born, and it’s kinda wierd thinking that they’re out there… forever.
Planning to never share pictures of my kids on the internet. I try not to even write their names or any information about them.
It’s tough because they’re amazing and I want to crow about them like any proud corvid parent but me and mrs_ravens fall firmly down on the “it’s their privacy, not ours” side of the argument and whilst having everything about you from your first shit onwards in the public domain will probably all pan out fine over the next 30 years I just want them to have that choice where possible.
Yeah, I read that post and that weird ‘stealing’ thing is, well, weird. I mean I admire your stance and agree with the principle but the reality is that my attempt to use Google Drive for photos early on just ended up with a huge amount of ‘tech support’ emails from all corners of the globe…
I don’t know if maybe I just don’t understand the use of ‘should’ tbh. @xylo understands the difference between ‘can I get’ and ‘may I have’ so he might have a different view.
Again, though, I think your examples probably reflect more of an aspect to parenting that that society exerts over us. “Is it okay for children to watch four hours of TV a day?” is a very different question to “Should children watch four hours of TV a day?”, etc. It’s encourages a sort right or wrong way of viewing things.
The flipside to this is I genuinely don’t know if lots of TV or much junk food is actually a big harm factor for kids. We ruthlessly limit her TV but a friend’s son sees loads of it (for a number of reasons, not least two kids to deal with) and he is fucking MINT, so I’m probably just giving in to wild middle-class shit, there.
It’s fine to say that but with all her family in Australia and a huge chunk of mine in Scotland or Malaysia, it’s not really feasible to do this.
I realise you’re not moralising to me, btw. Just I wish we could do that!
I understand the junk thing - healthy mind and body and all that, and we originally intended to limit her tv watching, but as you say needs must and also, my mum used TV almost entirely for me as a kid and the only thing i’m rubbish with is comprehension of emotions and understanding nuance and empathy, so that’s not too bad.
I understood what you said about the if you should then you do it, and the implied judgement when something is you shouldn’t, so you’re probably right.
we had loads of them, but it all worked out in the end once folk just started book marking the access link and forgetting about signing up. the new Google Photos cloud thing does this brilliantly, as i used it for back up (again, photos going online but locked to my account) and sharing an album or video with people is very easy now.
is there a difference in putitng things on facebook to share and putting thing like my photos on Google? well, from a privacy point of view i reckon so, but then what is google gaining from my photos and stuff? who knows.
odd times to live in.
Ooh - I saw an edit appear then - just in time too I was about to get on the defensive
I’ve got family in Oz too and it’s impossible to keep off the internet totally (I mean, email, for one), but the easily catalogueable / searchable social networking sites we keep off for sure.
But I get that it’s not always possible to do that.
so far we haven’t put any pics up. Mrs S is dead against it, and I am moderately so. I would probably put a couple up here and there - we don’t live near any family so would make it easier - but in reality I’m quite glad that her hardline stance has prevented me from doing so. There are other ways to share photos, none as convenient for us or instinctive for our “target audience”, but hey, that’s golf maaan.
yeah, our hardline stance has been even respected by our family which has been heartening. but it doesn’t stop the impulse of doing it not being hard to ignore, you know?
instead i just take photos of my dog.
Yeah - I still feel like a right killjoy when I ask people not to put any of those on Facebook etc… I’m not on facebook so I have no idea if my requests are being respected though
absolutely. but actually, when I’m honest with myself, the one’s I have a strong impulse to share are the really “cool” or funny ones that I know will get loads of likes/comments. then I know that it’s purely selfish* and I should refrain.
*i mean selfish in the least pejorative manner possible
FB Privacy settings are very specific if you like. I mean I could create a particular group and only limit access to those people but it’s woollier than that for me and it would take a long time to exclude everyone who I don’t think gives a shit.
I’m not sure there’s a wild difference between the Google Photo store and FB to be honest but it’s hard to really tell. There isn’t really a way to put photos online without some organisation having technical access, I guess.
Moral of the story: Don’t be on facebook.
Do your parents and friends magically stop being on FB when you stop being on there then?