AWA 2: Ask Women Anything Boogaloo #ssp

What did you always want to know about women? Ask away in this thread!

Respectful questions only - ones of a sexual nature should be as un-gratuitous as possible. Light hearted questions are fine but please don’t shitpost.

inaugural thread here: AWA Thread: Ask Women Anything (SSP)

(I am not going to be around as much as the previous time because I have shit to do and was up til 3am doing some work but hopefully some of the other gals will be about!)

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Was hoping you’d do this again!

With specific reference to DiS, what are some of the maybe subtler and possibly unnoticed or unintentional ways we still fall short of full inclusivity/equality, and how can we do more to achieve this?

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On anonymous messageboards/forums like this, are you ever tempted to hide your gender from people?

Good/tough question!

I think it’s really noticeable that several amazing women have visibly left the boards in recent months and it’s worth interrogating why - the legacy of the old boards, the visibility of women (because most posters are lads it makes the women posters more conspicuous) being quite uncomfortable at times, not feeling like we’re being taken seriously. These aren’t necessarily things we can change but they’re good to be mindful of.

(Personally I’ve not felt the ‘not being taken seriously’ thing so much lately but have definitely felt it in the past in more serious threads.)

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Get rid of the patronizing pricks.
I’ve noticed the solution on this forum seems to be “well if you have a problem with what I’m saying/doing, then just mute me” which is just a way of someone not accepting ownership of how they’re being a dick. Without accepting faults or understanding another persons point of view, you’re never gonna get change.

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Yeah I think this is true, especially when there’s a disagreement etc between women, it becomes much more of an ‘event’ or incident because it’s more conspicuous.

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Haha weird that I just mentioned that as an issue seconds after you posted!

I don’t on DiS generally. I think it would be really hard to talk about my love for the lyrics of like Courtney Love, Beyonce and Gwen Stefani - where those lyrics are deeply tied to womanhood and femininity - without tying it to my own experiences. The other women on here are also incredible and so intelligent and supportive.

I do pretend to be a man elsewhere on the internet if I want to blend into the background though. It’s really refreshing to not feel under scrutiny and just be able to focus on me without the pressures and attention that come with being a woman in male dominated spaces. I was trying to explain to my ex on Saturday how me being a woman materially impacts on me at Countdown tournaments: I have to deal with harassment whether actual or potential, dismissive attitudes from Very Smart Men and being around people who make me uncomfortable either by actively being creepy or who enable creepy/offensive behaviour and have done for years. Disassociating from that a bit through a fake online persona sacks off some of the baggage.

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I got a bit wound up the other day because there’s that series of threads on the music board rating “classic” albums and only two of those rated so far are by women. I tend not to comment on stuff like that, because I don’t really like debating on the internet, but that type of unconscious bias is rife with music fans and I found it a bit disappointing that in 2020 it still occurs.

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Not on message boards as dis is the only one I use, but when finding freelancers on upwork I pretend to be a man and it really works, men just take instructions and don’t argue or try to patronisingly explain things and it’s always straightforward and direct and smooth. Didn’t expect it to make such a huge difference but it does which is pretty sad

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This is, depressingly, pretty much what I expected :frowning:

Thanks for your answer!

Sometimes I’ll open up dis during the afternoon and they’ll be tons of new threads but they read like a bunch of 12 year old boys who’ve just got their first computer. It can be a case of wading through them trying to find a non joke thread. I know some people find them amusing but if you’re a new woman to the boards reading all that would honestly make me not bother.

(Appreciate I might be in the minority on this though)

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Yeah that’s understandably an issue. Having run the HGATR threads for a long time now, it is staggeringly disproportionate how many ‘classic’ or even rateable (as in well known and established enough to make for a good thread/vote) artists are women. I have tried to be inclusive and equal (not just with gender but race etc too), but there is an imbalance that is hard to avoid after a while. The albums threads are just starting though so should be easier to include non-male artists at the moment (although I have no hand in them so not really best-placed to comment).

Gonna copy @JohnM in on this.

I think you’ve done well with those threads, and a look at the scores/average show there isn’t a weighting towards male or female artists at the top/bottom of the list. I don’t think it’s possible to avoid the inherent sexism (or racism) of the music industry though - there will be more classic albums from male artists because they were given more resources to make classic albums.

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Yeah that’s what’s become really apparent when compiling the list of future artists. And now we’re nearly 200 threads in it’s getting harder to balance.

I guess with the album threads, the issue is that they’re a reappraisal of a “canon” of indie / alt albums, and that canon has been built in a way that skews male and white.

End of year lists and stuff from users have generally always been pretty balanced I think?

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You’re not.

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I didn’t mean it as a criticism of you or the person who’s running those threads. As I said, I think it’s often unconscious bias. I do think everyone needs to look at “the classics” again. For years in every list of the best albums ever you’d see Joni’s “Blue” and Carole King’s “Tapestry” but the rest would be white men with guitars. That’s getting better slowly but I find that very few people are willing to accept that maybe the canon is wrong and they need to broaden their horizons.

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Oh I didn’t take it as such. It’s definitely an issue that can be looked at and addressed as best we can though.

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oh my god SO MUCH THIS

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