Bad things a lot of people do that they may not realise are bad

I once saw a bee outside that had flown through a spider’s web and was trying to flap the sticky web off it, but it just couldn’t do it. Big old bumble bee it was. So I got some water and gently poured it onto the bee to wash the web off. Bee sat there for a bit, being all wet, and then happily flew away. We still talk about it to this day as a family. This isn’t relevant, but I just thought it would be nice to share a story about directly assisting a bee.

Now waiting for someone to tell me bees shouldn’t get wet.

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Jogging, purely in terms of numbers. I’m sorry but there can only be 10 per town, max. Make a raffle or something, but sort it out.

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Unfortunately bees work exactly like Gremlins. You’ve unleashed a horde of evil yet hilarious bees on the world.

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Na na na naaa na na

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Oh god, if I walk along the canal to work, the number of bike twats who come dinging behind me at full speed is infuriating.

Might start pushing them into the canal. Just one a day until they start being better people.

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Child cycling on the pavement = acceptable
Child ringing bell to alert someone to their presence = that’s what it’s exclusively for

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Generally true, but with the exception that you if know the bee is exhausted (if say it’s been trapped indoors for a long time) it’s fine to put a teaspoon of dissolved sugar near it to give it a bit of “lift”.

Also obligatory complaint about describing sugar as “junk food”. It’s just sugar. Junk food is what you make using sugar.

Leaving a voicemail in the year 2019 should carry a prison sentence. Deviant behaviour that some old cunts still think is acceptable

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That bee thinks that spiders have figured out waterboarding and has told all the other bees. That’s why there’s less bees they’re all hiding because they think that torturing spiders are hiding in every plant

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OH NO

^bit ageist

It’s mostly restaurants that want you to confirm a booking that leave voicemails.

Young people don’t leave voicemails. They’re busy playing fortnite and cyberbullying each other

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How would you like them to alert themselves to their presence?

I cycle along the NATIONAL CYCLEROUTE path alongside the stour in Canterbury all the time and the number of mindless pedestrians looking at their phones walking in the middle of the path. Arghhhh.

-Have some awareness of the world around you
-put up with a few bell dings (or ‘excuse mes’ - I don’t have a bell)
-Get run over

These are your choices, which you want?

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  • I leave voicemails
  • I listen to voicemails people leave me (apologism, part of the problem)
  • I’m a decent person

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Bell is fine. Riding fast at people isn’t. Pedestrians always have priority, even the wankers.

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I tell you what I want, Scags. I’ll tell you right now.

I want them to cycle at a reasonable speed for a 3ft wide path at the side of a canal, and then they can ding at me if they’re struggling to get by. It’s just not the place for twats with SKY written across their arse bombing past acting like I’m the cunt for preventing them getting King of The Canal on Strava or whatever.

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Massive depends on who it’s from, obviously.

Savage, Colin. Absolutely savage.

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Nope. I’ll call them back/text them but refuse to listen to their lousy voicemail

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Good luck with that dream, m7.