#25

Here are some from the TV:

  1. Used to scare my little brother by telling him about a ghost with a man’s body and a scary monster face that lived in the wardrobe when we were kids. As he was going to sleep, shuffled out of the wardrobe in my dad’s coat and a creepy tutankhamun mask and went ‘woooooooh’ til he’d start crying and my mum would come in and smack me round the head for being a dick. My brother is fine now.

  2. I stole my friend’s little sister’s shiny Mew pokemon card and never gave it back

  3. My best friend had another friend (Henrietta) who didn’t like me so I pushed Henrietta into a pond. There was frogspawn in it.

Grounds for divorce?

#26

Remember one weird thing I used to do with my friend when we were about 8. There was a girl (about 16-17 DUNNO) who would frequently walk down our street when we were out playing and every time she went passed we would go “The girl, the girl, it’s the girl” in like a cawing sound. Then one time she lost it and was all “Just shut the fuck up!!” so after we used to go "the girl, the girl , the angry girl"
Also did it to this bloke “The man”, and one time he just said “my name’s Robert” or something like that, so then we just said Hi Robert when we saw him. the girl could have learnt a lot from Robert.

Also used to go and play cricket against this garage, because it annoyed the owner so much. Would literally stand there hitting a ball at it until the owner came out and then chased us, one time the bloke just ran into my mate’s house! His mum went mad

So much being a dick with my one next door neighbour between about 5-12, was fucking great

1 Like
#27

I can’t find the story I already posted about the time I put a giant snowball in my friends Mum’s bed, poured water over it and then got a bollocking for it… unsurprisingly.

EDIT: I also stabbed my brother in the back of the head with a fork. :confused: I still feel awful about that.

#28

3 seems fair do’s

1 Like
#29

:face_with_hand_over_mouth:

1 Like
#31

If someone told you that a wall smelt funny and you were also 9 years old would you not smell the wall?

6 Likes
#32

Cut a crisp new £20 note in half as I thought the silver strip was a ‘cut-along-the-dotted-line’

2 Likes
#33

Knocked over my sister’s Sea Monkey aquarium and blamed in on the cat

Attempted to flush my unwanted sausages down the toilet like poo and clogged up the pipes

2 Likes
#35

:joy:

1 Like
#36

I was throwing a classic strop and chucked a very heavy photo frame across my room and smashed my bedroom window. Quite a big window.

My dad was not pleased BUT I managed to palm it off as an accident where I was tidying my room and I threw it on the bed and it bounced off and clipped the window. They still believe it to this day as they recounted the story just a few weeks ago!

#37

I’d happily knowingly eat those tbf.

#39

Ouch

1 Like
#40

hit a stone with a tennis racket with unswerving accuracy and ridiculous distance into someone’s forehead having not thought such a result was popular.

ejaculated into the shampoo bottle of a boy who was bullying me. peed in another bully’s shampoo. latter one found out. former one didnt. cum is more viscuous, isnt it? no regrets, Colin.

poured a bucket full of everything you could imagine over a girl who teased me from a 2nd floor window… cannae remember exactly what… but no bodily fluids that time.

spewed up flem as topping for someone’s toast, before putting jam on top. a prefect 4 years older than me ordering me to make him toast didnt sit well with me.

let a shopping trolley go down a 30m ramp into a supermarket a few times…

hit a few long irons out of my back garden in the rough direction of some bungalows and gardens up the hill.

took out 10 years of emotional distress at home on my 17 y.old distantly ex-girlfriend classmate by having a nervous breakdown on her through the royal mail…actually that ones too heavy to properly unburden.

my only defence is a lot of wrong was done to me in my childhood. good job i dont believe in heaven

2 Likes
#41

“popular”=possible. doh

#42

classic victim-blaming

1 Like
#43

When I was about six I spent a day catching hover flies and pulling their wings off :cry: still feel awful about it.

The lady that lived over the road from me was very proud of her garden. My friend and I pulled all of the petals off most of the flowers and chucked it about. Was also about 6/7 at this time. To make it worse she was a really lovely lady who would cook us dinner sometimes. Sorry, Dorcus.

I put mustard on the back of my little brother’s tongue when he was 5 and I was 13. He was being rude to me. Actually I don’t regret this one at all!

#45

hid all of mrs palmer’s board pens and she cried

1 Like
#46

I had forgotten how well written this was.

#47

too many of these things to mention. i was a proper little prick of a child

#48

No need to call the poor woman names on top of all that.

3 Likes