:face_with_hand_over_mouth:

1 Like

If someone told you that a wall smelt funny and you were also 9 years old would you not smell the wall?

6 Likes

Cut a crisp new £20 note in half as I thought the silver strip was a ‘cut-along-the-dotted-line’

2 Likes

Knocked over my sister’s Sea Monkey aquarium and blamed in on the cat

Attempted to flush my unwanted sausages down the toilet like poo and clogged up the pipes

2 Likes

:joy:

1 Like

I was throwing a classic strop and chucked a very heavy photo frame across my room and smashed my bedroom window. Quite a big window.

My dad was not pleased BUT I managed to palm it off as an accident where I was tidying my room and I threw it on the bed and it bounced off and clipped the window. They still believe it to this day as they recounted the story just a few weeks ago!

I’d happily knowingly eat those tbf.

Ouch

1 Like

hit a stone with a tennis racket with unswerving accuracy and ridiculous distance into someone’s forehead having not thought such a result was popular.

ejaculated into the shampoo bottle of a boy who was bullying me. peed in another bully’s shampoo. latter one found out. former one didnt. cum is more viscuous, isnt it? no regrets, Colin.

poured a bucket full of everything you could imagine over a girl who teased me from a 2nd floor window… cannae remember exactly what… but no bodily fluids that time.

spewed up flem as topping for someone’s toast, before putting jam on top. a prefect 4 years older than me ordering me to make him toast didnt sit well with me.

let a shopping trolley go down a 30m ramp into a supermarket a few times…

hit a few long irons out of my back garden in the rough direction of some bungalows and gardens up the hill.

took out 10 years of emotional distress at home on my 17 y.old distantly ex-girlfriend classmate by having a nervous breakdown on her through the royal mail…actually that ones too heavy to properly unburden.

my only defence is a lot of wrong was done to me in my childhood. good job i dont believe in heaven

2 Likes

“popular”=possible. doh

classic victim-blaming

1 Like

When I was about six I spent a day catching hover flies and pulling their wings off :cry: still feel awful about it.

The lady that lived over the road from me was very proud of her garden. My friend and I pulled all of the petals off most of the flowers and chucked it about. Was also about 6/7 at this time. To make it worse she was a really lovely lady who would cook us dinner sometimes. Sorry, Dorcus.

I put mustard on the back of my little brother’s tongue when he was 5 and I was 13. He was being rude to me. Actually I don’t regret this one at all!

hid all of mrs palmer’s board pens and she cried

1 Like

I had forgotten how well written this was.

too many of these things to mention. i was a proper little prick of a child

No need to call the poor woman names on top of all that.

3 Likes

Come on! Spill!

Feeeeeeeed us

This took a turn

5 Likes

Wow.

1 Like

Took an eighth of weed back from Holland on the ferry in my parents car.

1 Like