Bar/Pub/Retail/Customer Service Worker Stories

Sorry for the clunky thread title, wanted to be inclusive y’know. Let’s share some tales from our experiences dealing with the general public.

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Some guy gave me £20 once for not calling the police after I caught him doing coke in the toilets. He was nice.

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There was a lady who said she would never come back to the store I worked in again because I wouldn’t give her a refund on some vests she’d bought 18 months earlier. she said she’d only bought the vests because she NEEDED to use her points discount and didn’t like anything else in the store :’)

I was like “yeah but why didn’t you try them on at the time?” and she shouted “because it was SUMMER, you don’t wear a vest IN SUMMER!”

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Managed a bar in NZ, there was a weekly quiz and the man that ran it didn’t like me very much for some reason (he was a classic Brit 50+ expat type). Anyway I cut him off one night because he was a bit hammered and getting me to giveaway a lot of beer to customers for no reason. He disagreed and punched me in the face in front of the whole pub

Not bar/pub/retail, but I was once fronting a public exhibition in relation to a proposed development in Essex. One lady got increasingly frustrated during the course of our conversation, and ran out of coherent arguments as to why the development shouldn’t include affordable housing, so she shouted ‘why don’t you just fuck off back up north’ and stormed off. Possibly the highlight of my professional career.

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I made someone cry by giving them too many eggs.

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Caught two middle aged Welsh women with their own vodka in a handbag once. As I was trying to throw them out, it turned out they were part of a group of about 25-30 people who were not best pleased with me. It was just me and a barmaid working on a busy Saturday so it was just me vs. all these people, but fuck them, I wasn’t budging. Radioed the police in the end, that was a long 10 minutes wait. One of the women said to me at one point ‘do you know what, you’re a cunt but I quite like you, cause you don’t give a fuck do you’

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Got a disciplinary in a call centre when working in insurance renewals. Call came through 1 minute before the end of my shift and they said “ive been offered the same cover for £300 less” so I just said “that sounds like a great deal you should go for it” and hung up and went home. They called back and grassed me up

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Oh shit just remembered I had to bar a guy who was a notorious troublemaker in the town and he kept coming in and threatening me and him and his mate would hang around outside the pub for when I finished and I had to get the police involved.

Nice place, that. Kaikoura in NZ is a very strange little place to live

It was a bit like a soap - there was one policeman and he knew the fella by name and was all “AHH c’mon now [name], mate! You gotta get out of here we don’t want you getting in trouble again”

There was a woman who spent a grand on
private school uniform for (her?) 2 kids but was barely concealing her disdain for them and was taking no shit from them. Maybe cause for concern for you guys but when you’ve spent a whole summer selling uniforms to demon children with frazzled/angry/pandering parents, it’s an amazing thing to see a parent being icily dismissive of her obnoxious kids.

(Tells you everything that school uniform sales were my favourite part of the job.)

I used to make a list of all the threats I got. Kneecapping, arson, murder, all sorts. I am still alive, not burned alive and able to walk, funnily enough.

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When I worked on the checkouts in Safeway when I was at school the store was the nearest shop to the hotel that Celtic used for its new/foreign players so I have many mildly amusing stories about their players/managers.

When I worked on the lottery kiosk there was a guy who would come in on a Saturday when there was a huge queue for tickets and slam down £1 in coppers and I’d have to pick them all up and count them whilst under pressure to be quick. Always wanted someone else to serve that dickhead.

Fuck, remembered one more! A colleague drove to her shift and her neighbours had shot a cat(!) dead and tied it to her car as a PRANK (!) and she drove down the main Street of the town in the middle of the day not realising and the community accused her of doing it deliberately and tried to make her leave town. Fucking mad.

That’s less a pub story and more just an insane story

Someone brought back a pint of red stripe because it was too fizzy.

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Or there was the time on customer services an old woman phoned up and complained so much that she couldn’t open a jar of beetroot that I sent someone to her house to open it and it turned out to be Sainsbury’s.

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WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

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Right? It was a truly wild few months of my life. Such a strange little town