#22

Also Hannah never said those things at all.

#25

Its fucking appalling isn’t it. Saw this all the time running pubs, instant throwing-out offence and used to radio round the other pubs and warn them.

1 Like
#26

Used to work in a hi-fi/home cinema shop, and on occasion would get calls from other businesses trying to sell us stuff like stationery, office supples etc. One time I let this guy go through his sales pitch before topsy-turvying that motherfucker and tried to flog him a new home cinema. He was very confused and hung up the phone quite abruptly.

3 Likes
#27

what does this mean

#28

ahh was posting in the wrong thread.

another story was when I worked with my atd in a pub years ago, he would put the booze through on the till but never the mixer, and pocket the change. so if someone ordered a rum and coke, it´d go through as a double rum but no coke but he´d charge full price. he left before I did and there was a huge thing just after where head office came down to investigate the missing soft drinks.

didn´t grass him up.

#29

same pub where my manager got sacked for marking up wine and spirits incorrectly to cover cash indiscrepancies

#30

i had a similar one, working in a call centre selling tickets for a gig and told a customer that i couldnt get them two seats next to each other, but that we havent got the full allocation of tickets for this event so they could try calling the venue and seeing if they could do any better. apparently thats an automatic zero on your QA score

#31

He’d just giveaway pints over the mic to everybody and expect me to pour them

#32

Worked on the tills at Sainsbury’s and ID’d a guy for a couple of bottles of cider. Almost certainly was over 18 in fairness, but was spooked by the constant Challenge 25 bullshit they ram down your throat all the time when you work there. Guy started getting very aggressive with me, and said he’d “see me outside.”

I was one hour into a seven hour shift, and needless to say did not see him outside.

11 Likes
#33

“This Guinness is off”
"Ok, what’s the matter with it?
“It tastes off, the barrel is off”
“That’s weird, loads of other people are drinking it without a problem. Were you drinking a coffee when you came in?”
“Yeah why?”
“Do you think that might have something to do with it?”
“Maybe. Its alright now anyway”

8 Likes
#34

A really rich guy used to come to the pub and get really drunk every day, had to throw him out as he sparked up a novelty size spliff one day

#35

One I still think about:

I used to work on pedalo swans on summers, come rain or shine. One particularly rainy Day, me and another swanboy were using buckets to bail out a swan, when a woman comes up looking to get on.

She asks ‘is it wet inside those?’ and I gave her absolute evils.

You’re wearing a fully waterproof coat, what do you think?

Still irked about it

#36

Someone watching Ascot on TV in the pub once won £20000 on a horse and gave me £250 to put behind the bar ‘and get you and your mates pissed’. Sometimes there are good stories too!

13 Likes
#37

I used to work as a cleaner/waiter at a hotel in my hometown (Whitby) during my teenage years (14-19). 5 years of odd times.

I remember one time we were cleaning rooms and another person ran out of a room screaming and asked me to go in. I went in and there was 5 (used) condoms lying around the room, sick in the toilet and they had wet the bed. This was a single room. I don’t think I have seen such a gross sight ever since.

#38

these stories make working in a pub seem more interesting than it is.

its mainly watching the same people slip deeper into alcoholism every day, cleaning, listening to bullshit from the punters and wrestling barrels in the cellar.

2 Likes
#39

Also eating a huge amount of crisps.

3 Likes
#40

and lime and sodas.

2 Likes
#41

On my last shift at a bar at a football stadium I was left to supervise a bar which was me and two pretty female bartenders in their early twenties who’s names were, for the sake of anonymity, not Angel and Destiny but I’d say completely interchangable for those names aesthetically. We had to wear very visible name badges. The amount of anti-bants we had to endure and dissuade people from was not dissimilar to the flood Noah escaped in the ark. (of course it was much worse for the two of them than me but still a brutal shift)

then towards the end of my shift a big guy with a bulldog tattoo on his neck sauntered over to the bar, looked at me and said “you’d look much better with a pair of tits”

what a life we lead eh

#42

Worked in a call centre for a holiday/flight company for a few months last year. I had a call from a Scottish woman wanting to speak to a manager to complain about something to do with a past holiday. I kept explaining to her the complaints procedure and actually couldn’t pass her to a manager and she said I was “an English twerp” trying to fob her off because I obviously hate Scottish people.

#43

When the Herald on Sunday spoke to Curtis, she was upset and appalled by the practical joke and said it had caused a lot of stress. However, Squires said she was “totally unremorseful” when he met her.

Constable Willy Squires is a prick.