Beard Advice

Mustn’t scratch Mustn’t scratch…

I defo get hit on more in gay bars the bigger my beard is

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Bread looks like beard

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Fyi I’ve started just using my lush shampoo bar on the old beard every couple of days and it works pretty well

People don’t really do that thing where they start a new thread parodying an established thread title any more, do they?

Would love to start a ‘Bear Advice’ thread but can’t see it going anywhere.

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was such a good idea it has already happened. Wow.


there was also one that had the word ‘dadvice’ in the title I believe


at the moment i’m trying to find the elusive middle ground between stubble and beard. i look too miserable/unapproachable with a beard and i look like i have an illness when clean-shaven.

Why does it smell? It’s a different smell. I washed my face, but then when I stroke it up and breathe in, there’s a new unfamiliar smell.

Hair, I guess.

have you spilled soup in it

got to watch that


Getting SO much food stuck in it.

I’m a messy eater at the best of times, but now I’m like a fucking St Bernard


Makes me think of this



Today is the day. Gonna get it trimmed by a professional.

Not even sure what it is that you say. “How would you like it?” followed by a “TIDY!” in a strong Welsh accent? Who knows.


Some practice questions;

Do you want it shaping into a point?
Squaring off?
Want your neck doing?



I want it to look kinda normal, don’t want it to be too sculpted. I’m mostly finding it annoying that my moustache hairs are now intruding my drinking experiences.

Do you want it shaping into a point? - No, I’m guessing?
Squaring off? - No, I’m guessing?
Want your neck doing? - Yeah, I’m guessing?

Well your choice is pointy or squared off really

If you like your shape ask them to keep it and trim it

With the drinking bit ask them to take your moustache above the lip. This bit tickles.

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I’d probably ask them what they think would look best for the shape of your face. This is what I’ve been planning to do for years and years but I’ve just been winging it with my beard trimmer instead.

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Well that was an interesting experience. She didn’t really speak English, so I had to gesticulate a lot to make myself as clear as possible. Was a thoroughly enjoyable experience though, and was able to eat my lunch without disruption afterwards!

Ignore the weird hairstyle on the top of head. I just let her do whatever she wanted, will be getting the gel out asap.


always a disappointment, personally. they never do what i’m asking them to do and i end up going over it later myself.