Beard Advice



have you spilled soup in it

got to watch that


Getting SO much food stuck in it.

I’m a messy eater at the best of times, but now I’m like a fucking St Bernard


Makes me think of this



Today is the day. Gonna get it trimmed by a professional.

Not even sure what it is that you say. “How would you like it?” followed by a “TIDY!” in a strong Welsh accent? Who knows.



Some practice questions;

Do you want it shaping into a point?
Squaring off?
Want your neck doing?



I want it to look kinda normal, don’t want it to be too sculpted. I’m mostly finding it annoying that my moustache hairs are now intruding my drinking experiences.

Do you want it shaping into a point? - No, I’m guessing?
Squaring off? - No, I’m guessing?
Want your neck doing? - Yeah, I’m guessing?


Well your choice is pointy or squared off really

If you like your shape ask them to keep it and trim it

With the drinking bit ask them to take your moustache above the lip. This bit tickles.


I’d probably ask them what they think would look best for the shape of your face. This is what I’ve been planning to do for years and years but I’ve just been winging it with my beard trimmer instead.


Well that was an interesting experience. She didn’t really speak English, so I had to gesticulate a lot to make myself as clear as possible. Was a thoroughly enjoyable experience though, and was able to eat my lunch without disruption afterwards!

Ignore the weird hairstyle on the top of head. I just let her do whatever she wanted, will be getting the gel out asap.


always a disappointment, personally. they never do what i’m asking them to do and i end up going over it later myself.


Do you ever find yourself pushing bits of your beard up to your mouth and then sucking on them?

Pretty gross, trying to stop it from becoming a habit.


I’ve developed an unfortunate habit of nibbling on my soul patch*. It’s weird and needs to stop.

*this needs a better name


what kind of clippers you rockin right now son


Will have a look when I get home, but so far just letting the professionals (hairdresser) do the major work


Into a point, rounded or squared. I go for squared myself.