Best Kept Secret Festival 2018 Thread

Festival shitter technology has come a long way. It flushes.

looks like you’re so near

Is pulling your socks right up while wearing shorts a Dutch thing or is that the fashion now? Looks fucking stupid either way. I like it.

Do you reckon anyone has ever said to Sting “hey you look like Sting!”. Just saw a guy who looked like Sting. Obviously wasn’t him.

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Kornuit is a fucking shit beer that makes you hate beer.

Some guy in the band currently on the main stage just did a banjo solo, then someone else in the band said “ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for Mr somename” then everyone clapped. Fuck everything about bands who do that sort of thing.

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Made by Grolsch apparently and the O N L Y beer they’re serving in the whole festival.

Thanks Grolsch, you utter cunts.

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Worked out the failsafe technique to smuggle beer into the festival.

Step one: line your trousers with cans, must be below waist level.
Step two: walk closely to the person in front of you with your bag already unzipped and ready to be searched.
Step three: hold bag just above waist level, pointing towards security person like you’re just trying to help.
Step five: walk on through to the other side then when 50m+ away, put beers back in bag.

Don’t forget to zip up your flies afterwards.

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Didn’t realise Wolf Alice were so good, I blame sean. Whenever someone evangelises a band too much, it puts me the fuck off.

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Just got a message from my wife saying the couple whose child’s Christening she’s at wish me well.

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It’s happy hour in the press area so I’m getting another couple because Slowdive looked so meh when I walked past and because I have problems.

One barman is wearing a Johnny Cash t-shirt even though it’s card only. That’s no accident. Solidarity.

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Holy fuck, turns out the 17:00-19:00 happy hour in the press area isn’t just cheap beer, it’s a fucking free bar. I’m not gonna make it to 18:00.

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@anon29812515

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Shit. If this is gonna be that kind of party, I’m gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes.

Oh that’ll be why there is now a queue of about 100 people.

Editor guy convinced me to go see a band on the opposite side of the festival, but very tempted to run back to free beer land after one song.

It’s free fucking beer.

Will stay for a couple of songs and then rush back. Reckon I could fit another one in if I play this right.

I’M OFF

I’m a VIP