Best thing about being in the office

Talking about the latest episode of Ally McBeal at the watercooler

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Wearing a top that has buttons

Is that what they’re calling it these days

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Booking meeting rooms for an hour, knocking on the door of the meeting room at the second that my booking comes into effect, clearing it out, then using it for a five minute call that should have been an email.

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Seeing people that I despise

When the fire alarm goes off and you get to pretend you’re annoyed about it interrupting work

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Chatting to people in passing, rather than in meetings

Making a massive fuss about how I’ve just cycled in and I’m better than everyone else.

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Taking your stuff home from the fridge as the cleaners will be clearing it out at the weekend

I can watch porn on a bigger screen

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When my colleague brings her sausage dog in and he spends the whole day destroying his bed and barking at the postman

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And gather colleagues round to make recommendations

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Going to Tesco every lunchtime and being bang up on all the latest offers

Stinking out their toilets instead of my own.

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Snack machine

Do you think this will become a successful book?

Have you got Michael Haneke’s number?

Too early to say but maybe!

Think shyamalan will be a better choice.

The twist? We are an isolated village of offices living the 2019 idyll while the 25th century rages* beyond our steel and glass towers.

*people working at home

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Also we’re all ghosts

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it’s nice to see Daan

1 Like