❤❤❤ Blind Date ❤❤❤ EPISODE FIVE

HELLO! Welcome to another fun-filled, love-hungry episode of Blind Date!

We’ll meet our contest momentarily. Who’s excited?!?

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Get 'em hyped, @discobot quote

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:left_speech_bubble: The intuition of free will gives us the truth. — Corliss Lamont

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I WAS PLANNING ON DOING SOME WORK THIS AFTERNOON, BUT TOO BAD EMPLOYER!

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WooooooooOOoooooOoooOooo

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WOOOOO

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Ok now to meet today’s contestant. He’s the handsomest motherfucker in town, it’s…
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It’s @roastthemonaspit!!!

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Hiya! I’m @roastthemonaspit, I’m 34 from London ENGLAND

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( I wrote my questions in about 5 minutes when I was half cut, please be nice)

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Ok let’s have our first question shall we?

I love a night at the cinema - what is your cinema snack of choice?

SUITOR 1:

I don’t need a snack. I am a snack. And if you pick me, I’ll let you have a nibble.

SUITOR 2:

I’ve been around the block enough to know that the old popcorn bag with a hole in the bottom always works a treat. That being said, I hope you like salted popcorn as the sweet variety tends to bring out a yeast infection if it stays in there too long.

SUITOR 3:

Cinemas are great fun but only when enjoyed entirely in silence, and obviously snacks are noisey so none.

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girlish scream

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suitor 3 :heart_eyes:

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Where’s the point going @roastthemonaspit

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Fucking hell Suitor 2!

What a start! I admire number 2’s oversharing in the public domain, Number 1 is modest but loses points with the word nibble, one of my least favourite words. Number 3 completely subscribes to my OTT attitude to noisy food so I am going to have to say SUITOR THREE

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Good, means I can have 1 and 2 (at the same time)

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SUITOR THREE takes an early lead!

What was the last thing that scared you?

SUITOR 1:

The thought of dying alone, without a soul to even stroke my hair as I expire. Pick me for the date.

SUITOR 2:

Probably fear itself. Or that I recently caught myself saying “toms” as I put some cherry tomatoes in the shopping basket just like my dad does.

SUITOR 3:

A dream where I dreamt that I couldn’t wake up from a dream. It was absolutely terrifying

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Mentioning parents this early on has got to be a winning strategy

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It’s a compelling pitch.

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That answer absolutely did me tbf