Boring thread: refusing gifts/money


#1

Hi there. Hope this doesn’t sound too woe-is-me but two things have been irking me for the last couple of days.

Number one: my dad asked me if I wanted anything for Christmas. I texted back thanking him for his kind offer but that I’m not really doing much Christmas-sy stuff this year and I have everything I need/want already so politely refused. A couple of days later he replied saying ‘I know you said you didn’t want anything but I’d like to send you a gift anyway, do you still live at dots’ address?’.

Second to this, a good family friend also texted me saying that he’d given my brother and his fiancee some money to go towards their wedding next year/as a Christmas gift, and as far as he’s aware me and my other brother aren’t getting married any time soon (burn?) but he’d like to give us the same amount. I don’t really want to accept this but I also cannot think of an appropriate reply that doesn’t offend him.

Help.


#2

Number one: welcome to my world. There’s no way out of this. Certain people will insist on it and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Number two: I can recommend my strategy when my mum tried to give me far too much money for my 30th - sheepishly accept the cheque and never redeem it. Then hope it never gets brought up. Working so far!


#3

In the spirit of Christmas I would like to formerly apologise for being an arsehole to you in the other thread x

As to the topics here:

  1. Parents gonna pare. I think you just suck this one up
  2. Why do you not want to accept this? Just because you feel a bit awkward or is this family friend a bit dodgy in some way?

#4

I think he has pre-empted this by asking for my account details to transfer it :confused:


#5

Donate it.
I hear Sean has his hand out again.


#6

Could do the absolute classic donate the money to charity thing if you don’t want to offend in scenario 2? I dunno. Adults should totally be able to accept that other adults don’t want to accept gifts; especially money.

W/r/t/ #2, this year I’ve purposefully not replied to any messages of “what do you want for Christmas?” and it’s worked so far, but given my mum loves Christmas I suspect it hasn’t actually worked. Can’t wait until it’s perfectly acceptable to stay in London (or wherever else we live) over Christmas. I suspect this won’t be until there’s a mini pn :confused:


#7

Say you’re not comfortable giving out that kind of information, but you’d fine with a cheque. If you’re lucky they’ll get offended and the problem solves itself.


#8

Hope you get through this difficult time, hun. xx


#9

Which thread? I don’t think I saw that. Apology accepted though, thanks.

  1. I think I’m somewhat resigned to this one. The fact that he doesn’t know for sure where I live is pretty much the reason why I cba with these fake attempts at fathering.

  2. I just don’t want or need any money. The guy is a lovely man and has known us all of my life. Is very well off and has no children and helped out a lot financially/emotionally after my parents broke up. He is a bit in love with my mum though…


#10

Yeah, I think the problem is that he’s not really offered the money for me to refuse it. He’s just said “I’m going to give you this money, give me your bank details” so I’ve not really been able to ignore/refuse. Hmmm.


#11

Hey I pre-empted this you bastard


#12

Number is, yeah, ridic :frowning:

Hmm I think my only answer to number 2 then is:


#13

Aw this man sounds well cute. Let him give you the money if he wants to! Just pop it in savings, buy him a little thank you present and he’ll be happy.


#14

One that costs slightly more than the money given. That’ll learn 'im.


#15

Burn it all in an austerity version of KLF


#16

i’ll have it


#17

Good thinking, start really escalating this situation. Pretty soon you’ll be exchanging villas and yachts.


#18

yeah the bastard how dare he give me money

Also I proper love the whole I did this for your more successful sibling/cousin so I’ll do the same for you. I’ve got shit loads of money from my nan because my cousins have bought houses already.


#19

He’s a tory. Maybe I’ll donate it all to the Green Party.


#20

Pretty rude to not let the gift be refused though. Obviously the guy’s intentions are fine but dots is a strong, independent woman who don’t need no sugar daddy and the guy should respect his wishes.