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May came back to the commons last week and said her plan B is to carry on with plan A.

Since then everyone’s been shouting about their pet plans that are DEFINITELY going to solve everything and there’s going to be some votes on those this evening.

Current favourites are: Yvettee Cooper’s plan to put off Brexit for another 9 months and the Tory Party’s one to ask the EU super nicely to remove the NI backstop.

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Hoping for the Cooper Temporary Clause

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Thinking about those malthouse loaves you can get off Ocado now. Fucking amazing.

really finding all of this impossible to understand, not in a funny way, i mean i genuinely don’t understand any of it.

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so…something is going to happen tonight that might change things?

No.

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I really can’t tell what is witty sarcasm and what’s just the truth anymore. No idea what’s going on

yeah that’s him, michael caine with timmy mallet’s glasses

Wait, why is May urging people not to vote for her deal?

It’s like that thing that happens when you’ve been hitting the red all evening with someone and then have a minor disagreement, which then becomes an intractable argument, which then spirals into something so semantically absurd and history-exhuming that everyone’s forgotten the point of why the argument is even happening, but at some point someone’s either calling a cab or crying a lot and saying sorry. It’s like that thing.

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Lord Saatchi, former chairman of the Conservative Party.

definitely a bad man

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i am listening to the coverage via the guardian stream and i promise you i can’t remember anything people have said within 2 seconds of them saying it.

“blah blah blah deal blah blah blah this house blah blah blah deal blah blah blah backstop blah blah blah honour the result etc”

absolute white noise. is that the point? make it so boring and byzantine you can’t be fucked engaging with it anymore?

edit: should’ve been a reply @anon44377095

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This sort of says it all (from TheG live blog)

"The SNP’s Pete Wishart asks what May will do when the EU says no again.

May says the first step is for MPs to agree on the way ahead."

WHAAAAAAAAAT?

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His brother’s worse.

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oh fucking hell. fucking fucking fucking hell.

Heh, sorry.

First thing to understand is that while parliament is voting on what May should do next, most of the votes are non-binding. I think Cooper’s is the exception where it locks into law something that would allow MPs to require she request an extension to the Brexit deadline. Other than that, May can do whatever the hell she likes still.

It’s fairly clear now that she plans to go back to the EU and tell them that the deal is unworkable and she only stands a chance of saving it without the backstop - she’ll do this regardless of how they vote. However, she’s looking for as many MPs as possible to get behind that proposal because in theory it makes her argument to the EU that it’s a way through the deadlock look more plausible.

Either way, the EU will almost certainly just tell her to think again.

It sounds like we’re having another “meaningful” vote in mid-February on whatever May’s managed to fudge between now and then.

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Actually what she said was “no YOU shut up” [I paraphrase slightly]