Brilliant Short Joke Thread (Only the very highest quality jokes please)


#1

Diner: Steak and Kidley pie, please.

Waiter: Don’t you mean Steak and Kidney, sir?

Diner: I said that, diddle I?

And we’re off!


#2

Did you hear the one about the guy who promised a riddle then instead made a jokes thread?

He got ice knived.


#3

Wind turbines

I’m a big fan


#4

Mods!!!


#5

is this a joke about the diners speech impediment?


#6

Doctor - There’s no easy way to say this. You’ve got to stop masturbating.

Patient - Why?

Doctor - So I can examine you.


#7

He’s only got little legs!


#8

My butcher offered me 8 venison legs for £25.

Is that too dear?


#9

Have I told you about the time I built a bungalow for a dwarf?


#10

facebook discussion regarding stupid people getting into uni, someone said this:

i went to a pretty good uni, and in first year someone still asked me “how do you cook oven chips”


#11

I don’t wake up until 9!


#12

terrible!


#13

I think it’s more about their attitude.

They can say kidney if they want.


#14

The human brain’s amazing isn’t it. Really makes you think.


#15

I was stood in the park, wondering why Frisbees appear to get bigger the closer they get to you. Then it hit me.


#16

^^^


#17

Had a massive argument with Gwen Stefani about French philosophers last night.

She ain’t no Houellebecq girl.


#18

But it’s pronounced Well-Beck.


#19

Harsh but fair.


#20

Had a massive argument about Arsenal strikers then