Diner: Steak and Kidley pie, please.
Waiter: Don’t you mean Steak and Kidney, sir?
Diner: I said that, diddle I?
And we’re off!
1 Like
Did you hear the one about the guy who promised a riddle then instead made a jokes thread?
He got ice knived.
5 Likes
Mods!!!
is this a joke about the diners speech impediment?
Doctor - There’s no easy way to say this. You’ve got to stop masturbating.
Patient - Why?
Doctor - So I can examine you.
12 Likes
He’s only got little legs!
My butcher offered me 8 venison legs for £25.
Is that too dear?
6 Likes
Have I told you about the time I built a bungalow for a dwarf?
facebook discussion regarding stupid people getting into uni, someone said this:
i went to a pretty good uni, and in first year someone still asked me “how do you cook oven chips”
I don’t wake up until 9!
terrible!
I think it’s more about their attitude.
They can say kidney if they want.
The human brain’s amazing isn’t it. Really makes you think.
3 Likes
I was stood in the park, wondering why Frisbees appear to get bigger the closer they get to you. Then it hit me.
1 Like
^^^
But it’s pronounced Well-Beck.
Harsh but fair.
Liked this one in Private Eye
I’ve built a model of Mount Everest
To scale?
No, to look at.
10 Likes
“I’d like to buy a watch please”
“certainly sir. Analog?”
“No, just a watch thanks”
3 Likes
It’s a Nik-Nak Patty Mac, give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.