Brilliant Short Joke Thread (Only the very highest quality jokes please)

Diner: Steak and Kidley pie, please.

Waiter: Don’t you mean Steak and Kidney, sir?

Diner: I said that, diddle I?

And we’re off!

1 Like

Did you hear the one about the guy who promised a riddle then instead made a jokes thread?

He got ice knived.

5 Likes

Wind turbines

I’m a big fan

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Mods!!!

is this a joke about the diners speech impediment?

Doctor - There’s no easy way to say this. You’ve got to stop masturbating.

Patient - Why?

Doctor - So I can examine you.

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He’s only got little legs!

My butcher offered me 8 venison legs for £25.

Is that too dear?

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Have I told you about the time I built a bungalow for a dwarf?

facebook discussion regarding stupid people getting into uni, someone said this:

i went to a pretty good uni, and in first year someone still asked me “how do you cook oven chips”

I don’t wake up until 9!

terrible!

I think it’s more about their attitude.

They can say kidney if they want.

The human brain’s amazing isn’t it. Really makes you think.

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I was stood in the park, wondering why Frisbees appear to get bigger the closer they get to you. Then it hit me.

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^^^

Had a massive argument with Gwen Stefani about French philosophers last night.

She ain’t no Houellebecq girl.

But it’s pronounced Well-Beck.

Harsh but fair.

Had a massive argument about Arsenal strikers then

5 Likes