Brilliant Short Joke Thread (Only the very highest quality jokes please)

Gout turned down for a job from the Jimi Hendrix Museum yesterday

Turns out I wasn’t experienced enough.

pardon me bob, ain’t that the cat who chewed your new shoes

I’d like to buy a deodorant please
certainly sir, ball or aerosol?
neither, I want it for my armpits


What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

One involves contact of the mouth and tongue with the genitals, whereas the other generally involves penetration of the anus.

I liked it already, don’t worry.

Blimey you can’t trust the specials like the old time coppers.

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One of my faves (from 20 years ago, obviously)


This is awful but my favourite viz gag was this:

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Waiter: You can have a vegetable skewer.
Me: Skewer? I hardly know her!

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also not a philospher

works in an irish accent

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was about to say it’s an old NTNON joke

I very much like the look to camera at the end

What’s the most popular Radiohead album in Australia?

Kid A, mate!


Two oranges in a bar, one turns to the other and says ‘yr round’

nothing makes me more riotous than this kind of thing :angry: