Brushes with the law

police
thelaw

#1

'kin 'ell. Just had 5 po-po come knock on our door looking for someone who lives in the flat above ours. 5ive! Wander what’s going on.
Last time the fuzz knocked on our door they broke it down to check an old lady wasn’t dead in our flat (due to a clerical error).

Tell me about your brushes with the long arm of the law.


#2

when they found out the old lady was dead on purpose they were cool?

fuckin po-lice


#3

Cause of death: clerical error


#4

Friend was taking a piss against a wall and the police screeched up so in my fried brain I thought running off would make them chase me and get him off the hook, and IT DID! Spent a night in the cells for that while they combed the area for drugs they assumed I’d dropped.

Also got taken to the police station for mistaken identity when my grandma answered the door and told them I was a relative. She just misheard. SUPPOSEDLY.


#5

if only sean had allowed her to edit her posts


#6

Many years back I got pulled over and three Babylon searched my car. However I had recently had a major spillage in my motor and the odd were horrified at maggots in various stages of their life cycle scattered strong my car. They soon gave up.

I’m thinking of selling this idea to Pablo Escobar.


#7

an ex-girlfriend of mine was a police officer, if that counts for anything


#8

no one likes a show-off


#9

Did you use her to brush anything?


#10

One time I was leaving the pub at shutting time and there was some kind of general ruckus happening outside, maybe a dozen people. One of the guys attacked me, then more people weighed in to help me, then the police turned up.

Despite not doing anything wrong, I legged it just as everyone else was doing, and got whacked by a police baton on the way past. Was probably the most painful thing that’s ever happened to me, I felt it for weeks afterwards.


#11

A spillage of what, may I ask.


#12

Got nicked for running about with sparklers around chorley after an FC United match. They let me out of the van after about 10 minutes of me laughing that they’d nicked me for using sparklers

Got told off by some pigs for letting off fireworks and a smokebomb outside manchester town hall after United beat Villa to win the league too

Police don’t like fireworks or sparklers


#13

One time I was leaving the pub at shitting time and there was some kind of general ruckus happening outside, maybe a dozen people. One of the guys attacked me, then more people weighed in to help me, then the police turned up.

Despite not doing anything wrong, I legged it just as everyone else was doing, and got whacked by a police baton on the way past. Was probably the most painful thing that’s ever happened to me, I felt it for weeks afterwards.

Theo?


#14

Theo?


#15

Holy fuck, if I found actual maggots in a car I’d just assume the owner had been dismembering a body in it.


#16

I did eventually brush her off after the relationship had run its course


#17

Role play, eh?


#18

Maggots. My story is somewhat garbled. I like odd instead of odd though


#19

Fuck… Pigs!


#20

The day after I moved into a flat down Iffley Road way in Oxford, two policeman were at my front door to ask if I had reported someone urinating on their partner.

I had not.