#20

The day after I moved into a flat down Iffley Road way in Oxford, two policeman were at my front door to ask if I had reported someone urinating on their partner.

I had not.

#21

I assumed it was some kind of hipster slang. You shouldn’t have owned up to it!

#22

“If by someone you mean me and by reported you mean filmed and uploaded to the internet then yes I’m guilty.”

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#23

Face of an angel, me. Never get bothered.

3 Likes
#25

Got a ticket from the police last year for taking a piss up a lane next to the barras after a gig

#27

Some kind of brush with an English Language GCSE would do this whole thread a world of good.

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#28

had about 4 of these back in the good old days of frequenting the art school/abc

think they’ve put up gates on a lot of the wee lanes on sauchiehall street to put an end to this type of unruly behaviour

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#29

Here comes the spelling police, going to arrest us for crimes against vocabulary

#30

Probably just @anon29812515 to be fair.

#31

once asked a policeman to make sure some wiped out fella lying on the ground didn’t die.

#32

Had an ongoing problem with a woman last year, basically an ex of a then-neighbour. She’d stand outside his flat for hours on end screaming at the top of her voice. Let it go for ages because she clearly had issues and he was a nice lad and didn’t want to get him in any mither. One weekend she basically camped outside his flat and spent a solid 48 hours screaming, lots of it threatening, disgusting bile. After not getting an hour’s sleep on the Sunday night i phoned the police in the early hours, more for the sake of the elderly neighbours and families nearby, they came and duly nicked her, then knocked on my fucking door with her sat in the van right outside. Really appreciated that. Fortunately the consequences weren’t all that severe, but absolutely docile bastards. Next time i won’t bother.

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#33

when you have dealers, addicts, career criminals AND fraudsters in your wider extended family it’s a laugh a minute, let me tell you.

two moments from my early childhood stick out in particular:

  1. the bloke across the road once got home from work early and found out his wife was cheating on him with one of his mates so torched his mate’s van and then tried to torch the house via the letterbox. police came round and asked for witness statements.

  2. some kids from the next estate along were going round smashing the windows of every car on our street. my mam had only just got a car about two days before. my poor nanna had turned up (we were taking her out for a birthday meal) at our house just as they did ours in. had to wait for them to turn up before we could go for our chinese. remember being angry that they were taking so long.

#34

Spent my prom night in the cells. I was a victim of circumstance

#35

Did the kennedy curse strike again?

#36

  

#37

Bang!

#38

I have managed to make a fool of myself at police/garda checkpoints on no less than four occasions, one of which led to me being made to take a breath test (after waiting 40 minutes because they didn’t have a breathalyser on them, despite the checkpoint being in placed specifically to catch drunk Xmas drivers)

Did once fail a breath test when i was sitting in my parked car. They basically told me to sober up before driving, heh

Once answered my parents’ telephone and it was the Police looking for my sister. The road she lives on was about to host an orange march and they would like it very much if she moved her car immediately please.

#39

there were two of them just having a long chat with some young lads right outside my front gate. i felt like going out for a listen.

#40

at one of those checkpoints the policeman was very reluctant to believe my licence was actually me cos the picture was taken when i was 17. not sure whether or not he was taking the piss.

also was driving home one night and there was a police car right behind me so i was doing that tense, on-edge driving as incredibly carefully as possible while checking them in the rearview mirror thing, and then they suddenly blasted the sirens and scared the shit out of me, and then THREE police cars suddenly overtook me at speed and drove off just as i was getting ready to pull over and cry

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#41

Some clown nicked the number plates off my car yesterday. Presumably up to nefarious activities with them. I’m looking forward to being dragged out of my car on the M42 on the way to the airport tomorrow morning because ‘my’ car has been used in an armed robbery or such*.

*I rang the fuzz to report it and was told I more than likely will get pulled over if I’m spotted because my reg is now marked :smiley:

1 Like