Buying a house - first steps



HouseMouse :grinning: :tada:


I think (in the context of this thread, particularly) that’s an unreasonable request.

I’m gonna say why and then I’m gonna muse over some way to resolve this point of conflict.

After being extensively active and supportive in this thread, the first post I can recall you making is this open question (and it was certainly at the beginning of this specific fandango):

just wondering where you all get your money to buy houses?

And when I answer with an honest account, you ignore chunks of it, opting for glib emphatics like

Even if i didnt live in london theres no way I could afford a house though

Which, if you genuinely determine to be true, makes me wonder why you’d want to spend time in a thread specifically about actually buying somewhere. But whatever, your call.

However, you go on to say to me that

you’re showing very little empathy

(without any real justification), but called @laelfy stupid for suggesting a de-escalation.

Another piece of your advice seems apt here:

don’t get involved in them then. you don’t get to curate what people post on a public forum.

Your own words.

You’ve critiqued my posting style as you perceive it.

Here’s my take on yours. You’ve a penchant for throwing the conversational equivalent of a grenade into threads. One liners, sideways questions, etc. It’s cool. I like it. And you’re more often than not speaking truth where truth needs to be spoken and cutting through the bullshit. But what’s less cool is when people engage with those comments in a fully well-intentioned way, but you get affronted about it.

Now, you can do as you damn well please, obviously, but these flare-ups seem very stressful for you. So, what I think would work well is if you/we/DiS could find a way of managing the issue. I dunno. You’ve got good stuff to say, but if engagement is a burden (on stuff known to be ‘contentious’), then maybe you could throw together a wee OP in a new thread about something you’ve seen on here that merits further consideration, say your considered bit, note that you’re not interested in a post by post engagement, and then sit back whilst others get their hands dirty with the back and forth. Maybe drop in a comeback summary after discussion drops off. And that’d be that. I think it could genuinely be a worthwhile semi-related regular ‘feature’ on here.

I might be out of line to suggest that, but all in trying to do here is navigate the issue you’ve raised without suggesting you shut up or bugger off. Neither of which would be desirable.


Just pinged off an email to our landlady to try and escape our 12 month fixed rental 2 months earlier than planned. Offering her 2 months notice - let’s hope she’s nice about it, eh?


We’ve been trying to buy a house and have came across a new thing, wonder if anyone else has seen this happen.

We liked a house and put a low offer in. They rejected it. We upped it to around 10k of the asking price. Rejected. We gave up. A week later, they dropped the asking price to below our last offer. No word from anyone.

The only reason we can fathom for this is that it is done to try and drum up some sort of bidding war? I can’t work it out.


Yeah okay so now I’m at hyperventilating and crying and feeling super super sick.



Try to enjoy the moment, and put off dealing with everything else until tomorrow.



Currently going through a phase of feeling like a child pretending to be an adult with our place. Pretty sure I’ve been ripped off by the gas engineer. It will get better though, I’m sure. As others have said upthread, it’s a bizarre situation where there’s all this excitement and then a bit of an anti-climax and ‘the fear’. It’s a place that you will make happy memories, I’m sure.


How unusual :wink:


still feel like this tbh


probably just feel super happy as well tho, right?


just go nuts thinking about interior design - draw it all out and stuff. it’ll make the overwhelming stuff seem less so and get you super pumped in advance about it all!


If you don’t like it you can always sell it in a couple year


the old houses have gone bad


Sorry was at work and didnt want to send a quick reply without reading and thinking.

I’m not gonna go over the same points again but my point about your lack of empathy was pretty obviously set in the context of what I found to be quite a harsh post which i already explained.

I really dont feel the need to make a thread about this. I think the most simple way forward would be to just stop interacting on here. I dont find interacting with people on here generally stressful. I do find interactions with you - for whatever reason on the part of me or you - tend to lead to this. You come across as if you really dont like me so I just really wonder why you bother engaging with me so often.

I dont think its unreasonable to ask that you just stop replying to my posts in future to be honest. No ill feelings, its just simpler.


My favourite thing to do was make a scale paper model/plan and move bits of furniture around :smiley:


Like seriously im reading back your post and I think you’ve taken a response i made to another user and suggested it was a ‘glib’ response to your longer post that im what, supposed to have acknowledged in its entirity?

It’s such an unfair way of presenting things others have said. You have done this sort of thing loads on here and i really just dont have the energy or will to engage with it.


Does anyone know what you should actually include on those ‘how much can I borrow’ calculators? They seem really vague, I’ve seen somethings suggest it should just be stuff like loans, travel for work and pensions as they already factor in general living expenses, but just did one on the money advice service and the amount I can borrow is massively short, I’ve already got a mortgage in principle from the Halifax but now am worried I may have factored in the wrong amounts


Just speak to a broker. It’s much easier than using an online thing.


Been putting that off but guess it makes sense, getting near to the point where I can actually start looking


Also worried about my credit rating, Experian says I’m really good, noddle says I am bellow average after months of being pretty good (all I did was cancel a debit card so PayPal defaulted to an old credit card for my Spotify subscription without me noticing, can’t believe that seems to have had such an impact)