🌵 A thread about house plants 🌵

Please give me your house plant tips. What should I buy? How should I look after them? I’ve always been really bad at looking after plants but I’m trying to change that. Currently got a few dotted around the place and I’ve decided I really like them (fuck you @Epimer) and want more.

We have an our of control aloe vera plant we need to re-pot into other pots; the best way to do this is literally break it up and re-plant, right?

If house plants were people I’d be standing trial at The Hague


Someone dumped a load of eucalyptus twigs in my room on Saturday night, like a huge amount. So that atm.

1 Like

I like orchids. Run them under the tap once a week and keep them in the bathroom while they’re re-growing and bring them out when they bloom. Really easy

1 Like

Depends on what kind of plants they are! Different plants need different things. Important to keep in mind.


I got a Chinese money plant on sunday.
Had been looking for one since the last plants thread.


If you’re not great at it, start with some succulents maybe? Christmas Cactus (Schlumbergera) are relatively easy, but require that little more care than the average cactus. And they flower soon too and can look pretty nice.

Mother in law tongue (Vipers Bowstring hemp - to use it’s less sexist name) is also hardy as fuck but looks like more than just another cactus.

Peace Lilies are also pretty easy to have around.

1 Like

Love cactii

1 Like

Got a yucca plant that is too big for its pot. Got a few succulents that are doing alright

Can’t keep those mother fuckers going.
They’ll be fine and i’ll do that for a while then one day i’ll look at it, and it’s just a brown stick.

I thought of a great app that I don’t think exists. Basically its where you pay for someone to come and tend to your plants. Kind of like a cleaner but they just come in every week and sort the plants out.
I think this is a great idea and millennials would be so into it.

1 Like

cut the brown stick off close to the bottom and then a new one shoot will start to grow. If you have one with a cane to support its growth, then guide it up the cane using twist-ties to loosely guide it and you’ll soon end up with a mega orchid again.

I’d like to buy more roses but they always die :frowning:

Could also have a great hand-wringing thread where everyone can fall out about whether or not it’s ok to pay for a plant tender.

got some cacti in the loo

Got cacti and a yukka - so far, no deaths

Fuck a houseplant.

I’ve drawn a line in the sand, I will not water, feed or do any form of maintenance whatsoever on any plant-life that finds it’s way into my home from August 2017 onwards.

1 Like

If you want houseplants to ‘purify’ the air, then the ones on the NASA list are a good place to start, as they are dead easy to look after:


Seem to remember you promising yourself something similar last year?

No new plants entered my home but the death of the remaining few in the moving process has led to a reiteration of my hardline stance