Ha amazing. That dude is annoying though.
nah i’m really into billy on the street atm
he’s well funny
on a tenuous scottish people that make you laugh link
still cry with laughter at this evry tym
I feel right now like I have woken up under the wreckage of my mind and my life. it’s like a breakdown, but I just feel like I’ve broken down the way I’ve been malfunctioning, and it’s everything I’ve been for the past eight years, and I’m just holding it in my hands, and just completely despairing.
like I’ve been removed from life, from myself and from others, for years now, and largely it’s from how I’ve tried to process and deal with things that have only abstracted everything. and the terror of the despair of the reality of things that I face along with also trying to feel and connect with people I love again, it’s overwhelming.
I couldn’t cope with this, with the sorrow that accompanies the love, the open-heartedness, I just broke, I shut down, I spent the last eight years trying to navigate abstractions, without realising what I was really doing. searching for feelings in new frontiers just as I left actual feelings behind. avoiding life as it got worse and worse.
I feel naked right now, emotionally. and I’m scared of waking up tomorrow mired in the same fog again. but I’m also afraid of trying to be honest about how I feel with people I love again. I’m afraid of talking to people with feeling again, if I wake up how I feel right now.
I can’t even properly articulate what I’m going through in my mind right now.
posted this in the wrong thread. can someone move it to the depression thread or something, please?