Celebrity Masterchef 2018

Looks like Masterchef’s idiot cousin is back next week. As usual the lineup is stellar.

• Stella Parton -Singer
• Keith Allen -Actor
• Spencer Matthews – Former Made in Chelsea star
• Monty Panesar – English cricketer
• Chizzy Akudolu – Holby City star
• Lisa Maxwell – The Bill actor
• Carol Decker – 1980s pop star
• John Partridge – Eastenders actor
• Michelle Ackerley – TV presenter
• Jay Blades – Social entrepreneur and designer
• Zoe Lyons – Comedian
• Martin Bayfield – Former rugby union star
• Stefanie Reid – World Champion Paralympian
• Josh Cuthbert – Former Union J singer
• Clara Amfo – BBC Radio 1 presenter
• Jean Johansson – Presenter
• Anita Harris – Singer who rose to fame with the Cliff Adams Singers
• Frankie Bridge – Former singer with The Saturdays
• Gemma Collins – The Only Way Is Essex star
• AJ Pritchard – Strictly professional dancer

Will Keith Allen make a vindaloo? Haha that would be funny…
Will Monty Panesar piss on the chips when serving up for the Women’s Institute?
Who is Jean Johansson?

So many questions.

I like this programme and will be contributing to this thread, unlike the Great British Menu. Thanks Colin.

1 Like

I think I only know Spencer Matthews off that list, but I don’t know if he’s the blonde one or the other one.

Can’t wait to see Jimmy Osmond being nice to people again.

Keith Allen - knew who he is
Monty Panesar - knew who he is
Chizzy Akudolu - know who she is, but only for being chucked off Strictly by the old racists
Carol Decker - I am a man in my forties
Zoe Lyons - on Radio 4 all the time, but wouldn’t know her from Adam
Martin Bayfield - yeah I’ve heard of rugby
Frankie Bridge - kind of rings a bell
AJ Pritchard - yep, dancing child

Spencer Matthews and Gemma Collins, fucking hell. Celebrity Mastertwat more like.


Of the names, I only know Keith Allen. However I am sure I will know more once I see faces.

I am IN and excited.


lets hope he fares better than he did on Dancing on ice

Greg: “Oooh, Monty, that looks lovely jubbly what is that? Oooh lovely jubbly”
Other Twat (screwed up slightly disgusted face): “Looks like some kind of cheese curry, Monty?!”

Monty: "Well boys, they don’t not call me Monty Paneer Star for nothing "

1 Like


1 Like

it’s really hard to think or write this without being racist but i bet Monty makes mega veggie curries and goes far, but is undone by his lack of knowledge in classical french cooking in an invention test.

Stella Parton will win. (no, me neither).

It’s on!

Fan of Carol Decker so far.

Rugby guy. 6ft 10!

Still irked by lack of cooking ability of them at the start.

Decker is great fun, and I don’t hate Keith Allen as much as usual. The GC is gonna be unbearable though.

Did no-one spot the delicious editing in the preamble? Voiceover: Whether you can sing (shot of bloke from union j, then decker), act (Keith Allen), play sport (rugby giraffe and cricket guy) we don’t care (shot of Gemma Collins).

1 Like

Celebrities you say?

OMG the rice!


Found it very annoying that Union J couldn’t stop himself pissing about with his chops even after he’d been told off for it.

This sounds funny in principle, but I’d be grateful for an explanation of why it is.

CD was great fun. And I’ve always got time for Keith Allen. Of the others, the only one I know of, and love, Frankie Bridge nee Sandford. Oh, I know Monty too, obv.

I will undoubtedly want the maker of the fewest curries to win. Basically, if on more than three occasions John is waxing about the ‘depth/layers of spice’ in your dish, you can get in the fucking bin.


1 Like

We spent a lot of time debating whether Decker has had some work done that went a bit wrong, or whether she was always a bit funny looking, or whether she’s just got old. Mixture of the last two was our consensus.

Presumably the reason Bayfield was always complaining about how hot it was was because his head was brushing up against the sun.