Center Parcs

Going to Center Parcs in a few weeks. Never been before. Always had quite a bit of scorn for the idea tbh. But the mother in law is paying for us and the brother in law and his wife/kids, so can’t complain really.

Only just found out/realised that the whole thing isn’t under a massive dome, which was the reason for much of my scorn but now I’ve been defrocked of that misunderstanding I’m a bit disappointed.

Ever been? What do you do there? Swimming, tick. Walking about in the woods, tick. What else? Table tennis? Karaoke? Rubber archery paintball? Do you have to pay extra for all that type of shit? For how many years do I have to accept that now I have a kid this is just the sort of holiday I go on?

Dunno the answer to any of your questions because I’m not a parent, but my sister’s off to Center Parcs today and I’m quietly miffed that they’ve gone to the Lake District one instead of the Thetford one which is only half an hour’s drive away from me and I could have seen my niece.

Enjoy all the anal!


never been

¯\ (ツ)

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Odd how having a child is a prerequisite for going to Center Parcs.

not been since the week Gareth Southgate missed that penalty, when i must have been 13. I swam, played short tennis with my brother and maybe mother, cycled around, a bit of table tennis, maybe some pool too, I can’t remember. You have to pay extra for most activities, I think - not sure about swimming.

Think nowadays you can hire one for the week, next to the swan pedalos.


Seriously though, it’s pretty overpriced, but despite that it is actually pretty awesome. Loads of sports and things available and the pool with the long slides and open river slide thing.

Badminton, Tennis, Pool, Snooker, different water sports (the less fun kind), Archery, loads.

You have to pay extra for almost everything as well aside from the swimming and the bikes I’m afraid.


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hang on they provide bikes? this is good news as really can;'t be arsed transporting our bikes. i mean the van makes light work of most of it but carrying them down three flights of stairs is a pain

Swimming is free, as is walking around and stuff.

Everything else you have to pay extra for, and I’d recommend pre-booking the sessions.

Which one are you going to, and what kind of cabin are you staying in?

We went a few years ago and hired out a large cabin with a hot tub, sauna, games room (pool table, XBox etc) and BBQ area between 8 of us. We ate and drank in the cabin, meaning we didn’t spend loads of money on the run-of-the-mill restaurants and bars, and chose instead to do activities that we wouldn’t get an opportunity to do elsewhere.

We went on the cable waterski thing, which was great fun, and an offroad segway trip, as well as archery and rock climbing.

Take a bike or hire one - it’s very bike friendly, but some of the distances involved can take a while to walk.

I think you have to pay for the hire bikes.

haha is that ma0sm again?

They have a hire station and I think it’s an option to include at time of booking. Not sure if it’s extra otherwise, I assume so. You have to have bikes to get around as even if you have a cabin you’re only allowed to drive their to drop off bags/food, then you have to go back to the main car park and get on your bikes.

I have been once for a work conference. I only used the conference room but the park (parc?) seemed nice enough

love how quickly they get onto the oxo tower

ive had sex in the swimming pool changing rooms at centreparcs but it wasnt bumsex, sorry

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“I’m narked as he’s turned our family holiday into a porn thing”


Butlins for wankers.