Childhood Injustices That Have Stayed With You

At age 17/18 me and my mates were randomly accused of pushing over the bins in our village. The police assumed it was me cos one of the accused was described as a long haired ginger. Was clearly Charlie from the year below, the cheeky anonymous bin tipping bastard.

This thread is inspired by (/a copy of) this thread, which inevitably contains some cracking stuff

One of the highlights is this from brainfeedr

I memorised basically the whole of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland in Year 6 because I was playing Lewis Carroll/the narrator so had to say almost everything that wasn’t a line of dialogue and had to remember everyone’s lines in case they forgot them. No bullshit, it was A LOT OF STUFF to remember. Then the fucking Cheshire Cat got more applause than me at the end because she was a prim, prissy little clarinet playing cunt and was sitting up on some of the wooden exercise bar things (it was in the gym) and everyone was impressed because she was high up. Brought my own fucking bureau to sit at too.

wait what?

Brought my own fucking bureau to sit at too.



A very famous incident in our family is when me and my sisters were banned from TV, Amiga etc until one of us owned up to eating a pack of Munchies that had been left our overnight. Really tore us apart, lots of accusations and recriminations and anger and it turned out to have been mice. Still bring it up and moan to my parents about it to this day.

Also still moan about the fact that I had to have Beano wallpaper instead of Man Utd as my parents said I’d grow out of liking football but obviously a love for Dennis the Menace would last well into my adolescence…


oh god no, this is just bringing back the forgotten rage I felt when I was given a certificate for “good effort” for art and design… GOOD FUCKING EFFORT??? !!! Other people got distinctions and they were fucking shite, I always got straight A’s, ALWAYS.

Anyway… Do do do.

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Dude you can’t call out @anon96483921 without @ing the dude!

grow out of liking a team - possible (i changed the team i supported all the time as a child due to not having a family member telling me who to support)

but growing out of liking football? never

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different spelling, wasn’t sure it was the same person!

“my parents said I’d grow out of liking football”

Reminds me of our mate at uni who was Goth. And a mutual friend who lived with him said to his parents when they were dropping him off one time, “Yeah don’t worry, it’s only a phase, I’m sure”. He’s still a massive Goth and a dad these days. I have to hope his straight laced parents are finally cool with this

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You’re right, it might not but then then he gets to read something amusing! Win/Win

I’ve posted this many times before but I still have anger at my mum for getting me a grifter for Xmas when I asked for a BMX (this was the year in the early 80s when literally everyone my age got a Raleigh Burner for xmas)

why couldn’t you have just got me what I wanted Mum? Why!!!1

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can’t think of too many, I’m the youngest child so probably was spoilt rotten.

Should have exacted retribution by closing it.

For an hour.


Watching some terrible video on rock formations in a Geography lesson and my bantsy mate had one of those watches where you could change the channel and up the volume and that. He kept pissing about and then when our teacher snapped he was like ‘it’s jeremys_iron miss!’ I had the most basic analogue Swatch at the time, it didn’t even have a second hand ffs. Despite my protestations I ended up in detention and when I tried to show her my watch again she was having none of it.

Fucking still so irked about that. Flashing her my wrist like ‘just look at it, it can’t have been me!’ :face_with_symbols_over_mouth:


On a school trip to Burntisland I bought this jelly ball thing as a souvenir that you throw at a wall/window etc and it rolls down it. Completely pointless but I was 7.

I threw it too hard at my bedroom wall and it splattered everywhere, ruining a panel of my Coca-Cola wallpaper. My mum told me that because she had to replace the wallpaper, the entire family couldn’t afford to go on holiday this year. Being 7 and having no grasp of the relative costs of wallpaper and holidays, this seemed entirely plausible and I was really upset and wracked with guilt for about six months.

Caused genuine long-lasting emotional trauma, that. Parenting, eh.


@anon96483921 should have angrily called out the audience: "WHAT?! You’re applauding this


My brother got me a class toy spaceship for my birthday but my dad saw it and said I was too old for it and that I needed rubber grips for the handlebars on my bike, so the spaceship had to go back and I got the grips instead. Then a few months later my brother realised that he’d left the toy spaceship at the back of the wardrobe and it was too late to take it back, so I got it too. yolo.

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Sounds like a good 28th birthday.


My old housemate had a boss who thought writing “predominantly adequate” was high praise on people’s appraisals. It became our favourite phrase to describe things.


During my maths GCSE we had to submit a piece of coursework, but because I was shit at maths, I essentially copied (with his knowledge) all of the key stuff from my mate Tim, just changing some of the writing bits and prettifying it up.

I got a higher mark than him for it.

Still feel bad, but ultimately it helped show me how pointless and alienating the world can be.

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My dad used to do the same with a friend, pool their homework. My dad’s mate would usually get the blame for copying, as my dad has very nice handwriting, and his friend had messy writing.

My Dad is in a fairly constant argument about the fact he thinks “very satisfactory” is high praise so if my Mum has cooked him a lovely meal or whatever he’ll say it was “very satisfactory” and then argue that it means it “did everything that was required of it” when people get the hump about it.