Children's joke book jokes - an appraisal

Here are some jokes from my son’s joke book that I read to him at the weekend, selected for their wit, wisdom and wanton disregard for the conventions of the form.

  • What lives in a pod and knows kung fu?
  • Bruce Pea!

An interesting choice of subject, Bruce Lee died 46 years ago and thus has not permeated the lives of very many 8 year olds. They are then left wondering why there is a pea named Bruce, and what that has to do with kung fu.

  • What do you call a naughty monkey?
  • A badboon!

While this joke technically works, I have selected it for you on the basis that trying to say the word “badboon” out loud is singularly unsatisfying, and genuinely makes you a bit sadder.

  • Knock knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Yoghurt!
  • Yoghurt who?
  • Yoghurt to love these jokes!

I was always of the opinion that the purported humour of a knock knock joke relied on the punning possibilities of turning someone’s name or profession into a pun related to their reasons for knocking on the door. No-one is called Yoghurt.

  • Knock knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Pizza!
  • Pizza who?
  • Pizza da pie!

Absolute fucking nonsense, although we have now taken to going round the house just going “Pizza da pie!” at each other.



Absolutely in pieces here at these. Moar please!

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Might bring it in to work tomorrow, the knock knock section in particular is a work of surrealist genius.

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This isn’t from a joke book, but from my daughter’s Peppa Pig sticker book. Note, this isn’t a case of putting a Newton’s cradle sticker in the wrong place, the sticker just went on top of the picture that was already there and incorrectly labelled an abacus.

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Two current classics in our house at the moment:

  • Are you a baboon tied to a tree?
  • No.
  • Baboon on the loose, baboon on the loose!


  • Knock knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Eye Dunnup.
  • Eye Dunnup Who?
  • You’ve done a poo, ewwwww!!!

Feel like writing a children’s book would be the easiest thing ever. You can put whatever you want in

Maybe we should start a DiS publishing house for surrealist kids books

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The only kids joke book I’ve seen recently was full of utter rubbish and despite being fairly recent still had quite a lot of not on jokes in there :confused:

Eye dunnup who! An absolute classic, it toys with the conventional format and at the same time makes it sound like the joke recipient has, in fact, soiled themselves. You could argue that Eye Dunnup is absolutely meaningless, but you can’t argue with the results and in this case, the ends justify the means.


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Solid analysis.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Europe who?
No, ur a :poop: !!

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You need to become a celebrity before writing a kid’s book nowadays.

Got a few more for you from tonight’s batch.

What’s a mummy’s favourite type of music?

Another absolutely spot on cultural reference point for today’s well-rounded kids.

What did the sushi say to the bee?

It’s funny because it sounds like wasabi, but it means What’s a bee, or What’s up, bee, or something, or maybe sodding nothing.

What’s the best day for a barbeque?

Can’t beat whacking a frying pan on the grill. Maybe stick the whole lot in the oven.

What country has the rumbliest tummies?

I’ve included this one because the totally unnecessary addition of a dash in Hungary has turned a basic but serviceable joke into nonsense.

What do you get when you cross a camel with a kangaroo?
A humparoo!

It works on so many levels! Actually, no levels at all.

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Passing ALL of these off as my own work at drinks tomorrow :+1:

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What do you call a guy called Gareth who has an enormous penis?