Christmas Party Folklore

You got any juicy Christmas party folklore from your workplace? Doesn’t need to have been verified.

I don’t really have any beyond being offered coke by hateful middle managers but I’d imagine some of you must know some cistern of a brain who’s stapled his tongue to the noticeboard or something.

Told this story before but my first proper job Christmas party I managed to lock myself out of my house wearing nothing but a flimsy party dress and heels at 2am whilst there was snow on the ground. Ended up having to stay with a colleague I’d barely met and did the walk of shame home in some tartan pyjamas carrying my dress and heels the next day.

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2017 was a mad one

G & V, the newbies, ending up practically fingering each other by about 8pm, both off their faces. My manager had to ask them to calm down. They did not.

R turned up so drunk that he tried to piss behind the DJ booth. He ended up sleeping in (and throwing up in) the hotel manager’s office and we are now banned from the establishment.

C decided to spend the night grabbing women’s arses, and when he was challenged on it he threw his glass 20ft across the room in the direction of the director. He was told to leave, but as far as I know was not punished for the incident.

M slept with M which was a bit shitty of her considering she’d got engaged to T that week.

J had a lovely night watching the carnage and got a KFC on his way home.

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Your colleagues are animals

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J sounds like the most sensible one there

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Actually when I was working for a solicitor’s they had a party I didn’t go to (obv) but subsequently were banned from the hotel for shagging in the toilets and stuff. Grubby af.

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A few years ago

P got his knob out in the pub we went to after the meal

sadly, I’m P

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That’s what I call leaving a tip

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getting it out was one thing

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@Antpocalypsenow no idea who you work for or anything but any wild stories from your establishment that won’t be named?

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40 year old partner with wife and two young kids (none of whom were present) had to be told to stop rubbing the thighs of the 20 year old secretary that it was an open secret that he was having an affair with.

Managing partner (married, in his 50s) tried to kiss the head of HR.

But nothing as good as one from another office of the firm, that led to alcohol being banned from company events. At that one, the office managing partner was seen to be flirting with someone who wasn’t his (also an employee and at the party) wife. Someone else who worked there and who also wasn’t his wife was seen to be visibly upset by this flirting, which caused the wife to ask why this person was upset? Well, because that’s her husband’s mistress.

Mass brawl.

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M&S staff xmas party circa 2003. There was a fist fight

There’s this lad who is very quiet and keeps himself to himself, small in stature, lovely bloke but very unassuming. He once got so hammered that one of our big-wigs had to take him home with him and let him sleep in his daughter’s bed (the daughter was away). Dead good.

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Delicious, especially that the alcohol was blamed too.
Why if they hadn’t had that second glass of white the wife and the mistress would’ve gotten along swimmingly.

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Not just any fist fight?

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just various married folk getting off with each other, which is boring unless you know them

even then it’s only slightly less boring

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Weirdest part of the whole thing is that a patent twat managed to attract three separate women.

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Just remembered someone gave me a very kinky secret santa gift once, a little leather whip
No questions asked

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Dr patent twat. Girls love a Dr

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I got a musical ruler with an instructional guide on fingering. That was good.