Could you depict the mob without it being profoundly sexist, violent and racist? Probably not. I understand why people find mafia films/series particularly uncomfortable, because it’s obvious that for many the leads are unironically icons, to be stuck up on walls and admired, more so than almost any other type of anti-hero. It’s also fair to say that the mafia is vastly over-portrayed in media, and question the creators’ motives in producing more of it.
The Sopranos though is at pains to portray the men as extremely dim dinosaurs who struggle outside of the bubble they’ve created for themselves, who have no sense of honor or duty towards the community whatsoever. The fact other men idolise them is because some men are also just very stupid, and also want to be a fat, unattractive middle-aged guy who fucks a lot.