Cinematic Universes Can Go Fuck Themselves Thread (rolling)


Sicario 2 is coming. The film no one wanted/thought would even be tabled.

And if you read the writer’s thoughts on it he starts talking about a ‘universe’ based around it. What the fuck is wrong with people?

So this thread is for every time another bedshitter creates a cinematic universe.

Just to truly horrify you as a further starter for 10: remember the terrible ‘Hitman Agent 47’. A footnote in the wikipedia page says:

In 2015 Adrian Askarieh told IGN in an interview that he may oversee a film universe with Just Cause, Hitman, Tomb Raider, Deus Ex and Thief.[22]


Should just combine all fiction into the same universe. When mission impossible is set in London there should be interactions with eastenders, Indiana Jones should refer to a long lost twin brother who went to live in space with a wookee (who is revealed to be Harry from the Hendersons), and so on and so forth.


yes. a convergence of all universes. all the jack nicholson characters meet and get snarky with each other etc.


More concerned about this kind of thing tbh:

The plotless, characterless mobile app Cinematic Universe


the rature is coming*

*and is part of the Passion of the Christ cinematic universe


Schindlers List


part of the Patton/Dunkirk Cinematic Universe technically


Subthread - Cinematic Universes you’d actually be quite up for:


What was your opinion on the first sicario, @xylo ?


Idea for a cinematic universe centered around Jeff Goldblum.

Content: TBC/ Dinosaurs/Telepods
Genre: Comedy/Nature Doc/Space/Eggs
Release date: TBC
Director: Ron Howard
Budget: Yes, there will be a budget.


weird pacing in the last moments but really REALLY loved the first two thirds of it. Proper heart in mouth stuff when they were in convoy, and down in the tunnels. Felt the final bit was a bit… i don’t know. A weird ending. But overall I rated it highly. I never guessed in a million years anyone would make a sequel though. it felt much more like a ‘this is how the world is. fin.’ kind of film. I can only assume the huge interest in cartels off the back of Narcos has pushed the studios into overdrive


Independence BC


“Alright… ‘Putting the Horse Before the Cartel’”

“What’s that?”

“Well, it’s just a title…”


“Get Cartel”


john wick i’m actually super down with. makes legit sense.

they could have done it with ‘MI6’ years ago and used the Q/moneypenny actors to tie it to Bond films.'s not like they’re doing anything else


end of lost in translation:


“…sorry, what?”
“i said there’s a giant fucking lizard outside”


Jeff Goldblum rides a T-Rex into battle against loads of shitty looking aliens whilst making his weird noises.


Yeah thought the ending was shit. Think it would’ve made a better series than a film actually


i think you would have ended up with a (very cool) modern day Narcos.

Which i’d be down with watching. Certainly the most interesting bits were understanding how the operations run in heading over the border. A series of someone investigating cross-border smuggling and crime would have been cracking, agreed