Citizen's Arrest

When you citizens arrest someone do you give them the Miranda rights?


“You do not have to say anything. But, it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence now get ready to die"


I tried to do one once. Me, a Hassidic and a Rasta chased a bloke who stole a woman’s bank card after looking over her shoulder at Morrisons in Stoke Newington. Unfortunately he was better at running than any of us.

Take it to the jokes workshop thread


Fucking pigs man.

Nobody’s ever successfully carried out a citizen’s arrest.

How much of a shit bastard would you have to be to just say ‘aye, okay, red handed, you’ve got me’?


can’t stop laughing at this bit :smiley:

Double hard bastard decking a scally then phoning the police to come pick them up - has happened.
Someone saying theyre going to citizens arrest someone and successfully completing it - never happened

“I’m carrying out a citizen’s arrest”
“Alright, Columbo…”
(Walks off)

you do need to explicitly say you are doing one or else its classed as kidnap

“I’m carrying out a citizen’s arrest”
“Alright, wait there then…”
(Walks off)

“I’m carrying out a citizen’s arr…"
(Right hook)

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Is George Monbiot still paying out to anyone who attempts a citizen’s arrest on Tony Blair? Would be funny if one of his new dictator mates cashed in on it.

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