Classic bits of dialogue

[in hairdressers]

“Do you want any product in it?”
“Nah it’s ok I’m going to have a shower when I get home”

12 Likes

‘wanna see the back?’
‘nah, that’s fine’

2 Likes

Buying a single, non-food item in a shop
Would you like a bag?
No thanks, I’ll eat them now

2 Likes

[having a Sunday roast]

Are you a leg or a breast man?

1 Like

Anybody want a drink [from the coffee machine in the office]
Nobody wants one
Cheap round, then.

2 Likes

‘can I get anyone a drink from the kitchen?’
‘yeah, lager/vodka lemonade please!’

21 Likes

[whenever getting off train at Piccadilly Circus]

“Cor it’s like Piccadilly Circus 'round 'ere”

6 Likes

Pint please
Bitter?
I try not to be love

2 Likes

“that’s 99p”
hand over pound
“keep the change haha”
“haha yeah bye”

6 Likes

“Going for my lunch, anyone want anything from outside?”
All colleagues: “No thanks”

9 Likes

‘Oh, Nick, Nick, come on don’t go, stay for god’s sake’

19 Likes

can only read this in a Rik Mayall voice

1 Like

this is one of my favourite images btw. I’ve seen it so many times but I don’t think I’ve ever said tha

to the best foosball supporters in the world
we need a 12th man here…

where are you?
where are you?

let’s be having you…

come on.

2 Likes

Do you want a coffee?

Yes please

Sugar?

No, I’m sweet enough

I worked with a woman who made this joke EVERY SINGLE TIME she was offered a hot drink.

Buying more than 3 drinks
Bartender: would you like a tray?
Customer: no thanks I’ve got enough to carry already

13 Likes

Really want to ask my 10 year old niece if she’s heard about updog but I’m 99% certain she’ll respond with “what’s that?” or “what is it?” and it’ll be all

1 Like

Princess Leia: “I love you”
Han Solo: “Get me out of this fucking carbonite freezing chamber for fuck’s sake!”

4 Likes

Contactless, too easy isn’t it
Yeah, dunno if I trust it though
Aye, takes 3 days to come out of your account doesn’t it

1 Like