#329

I know why you brought it up. I was saying that meow hasn’t asked you to not discuss him, which is how you’ve read her replies to you.

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#330

Yes that is very much how I interpreted it. Or more like “you are making me uncomfortable by bringing up the bad behaviour of someone I was connected with”. Which is why I was not so sympathetic, reminding that CG’s behaviour had the potential to make POC feel way more than “uncomfortable” here.

#331

I didn’t read her replies to you like that at all.

I read it like:

…

3 Likes
#332

you were basically saying (or insinuating at least) that anyone who didn’t agree he was a bigot or racist were idiots who had been duped. you were also (really condescendingly imo) trying to suggest that you know or understand him much better than people who have met him irl including someone who you know used to be in a serious relationship with him.

i realise you get a lot of shit to deal with and that can’t be nice but jfc you are so antagonistic. obviously you can post however you want, i’m really not trying to suggest anyone modifies their behaviour to suit me or anyone else, i’m just saying i 100% see where meow is coming from here

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#333

Hmm I guess one thing is, is that there is surely going to be a level of discomfort in discussing some of the more problematic posters and threads. In fact previous threads have been closed because of that very fact.

I do think it’s important and certainly I can see why we’re still talking about this now, but I also acknowledge it’s probably a process that’s going to lead to hurt feelings. Particularly given some of the relationships between different posters. It’s a difficult one.

1 Like
#334

Why bother trying to change anything.

#335

Yeah, this is entirely true.

It is also true, in this instance, that meow feels that she is being personally attacked and targeted by Em. I guess meow is wondering how this is any different to when Em feels that she is being personally attacked and targeted in another thread.

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#336

Yes I am saying that. He is a racist and a bigot who continually posted vile things, and people let him get away with it and treated it like it was a massive joke and he was their pet racist.

If you feel bad about letting him get away with it, then feel bad. It’s on you. I am going to continue pointing it out. If I take flack for not letting these things slide, that’s nothing new.

#338

This is true. However I feel strongly that it’s no good addressing the misogyny and stopping there because that’s the one that affects me, when there is also a past underseam of racism that has not been addressed, and we shouldn’t have to wait until someone has to disclose something horrible that happened to them here to look at it.

#339

I think there was likely a “general” nasty underseam here tbh. Obviously I never experienced racism or sexism, but I avoided meeting people off here for about 7 years and didn’t post for about four for a reason. (well, one of them anyway).

#340

I don’t think anyone is defending anyone here.

Can you not understand where meow is coming from?

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#342

Yes I understand that she is upset that somebody from her past/personal life is being brought up as an example of a terrible person, who she perhaps has nice memories of and that’s stirring things up.

However he did those unacceptable things which made this a bad place to be. Continually for years and thought he was clever and funny for doing it. And people excused and allowed him, and it was all ok because he was their pal in real life.

I can’t hide that and shut up about it, even if it’s upsetting and uncomfortable for people who saw the nice side of him.

#343

I mean if I were an entirely dispassionate person part of the reason surely _Em joined the site in the first place was due to the fact that she was personally disparaged not someone she was in a relationship with.

That said I know that it’s not always possible, and nor should it be to not consider to still not consider this as a personal slight. Couldn’t help but think this would be probably better discussed over a beer or something…

#344

@theo this is willum, stand by for fire mission

Target is DiS Forums > Social > Closing Threads, thread is out of control, repeat, out of control!

One tactical nuke requested

Fire for effect

#346

But we all know that and he knows he isn’t welcome here now. Keeping on and on about it and repeating literally the same phrases again and again isn’t going to change anything about what happened in the past. I not asking you to shut up about the racism or sexism here that has made the site awful for years and probably continues (but the few mods on here are really trying to get a handle on it) but I guess I am asking you to have a bit of compassion (might be the wrong word). There are loads of other examples of awful people being repeatedly awful here. I guess that’s why meow feels targeted. I know you had personal dealings with CG but like I said, repeatedly posting about it isn’t going to change anything.

Meow has every right to be upset and you still haven’t addressed that.

6 Likes
#347

Who is this? What do you mean? I demand to speak to Theo!

Commissar? Oh I see…

:guardswoman::boom::gun:

#348

I didn’t want to bring up that they were a couple in the past, because I felt that it was irrelevant to what I was saying, but she brought it up.

I’m again going round in this circle that I’m a nasty hard bitch who is horrible to everyone. Deja vu. No-one ever learns it seems.

#349

I’m upset that you’re dragging up things from past posters and using them as ways to get to current posters to try to mold everyone in the to way you want this forum to be. You’re doing this in an incredibly aggressive an upsetting manner and being very disrespectful dragging up peoples personal relationships.
And your reaction? “yeah so what”

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#350

Your reaction to me bringing up a notorious racist was “this makes me uncomfortable”. Well you know what? Racism is more than “uncomfortable” to the people bearing the brunt of it.

#351

YOU. ARE. MISSING. THE. POINT.

1 Like