Colleague quotes 2.0 (rolling)

Someone just said “I’m sorry to press, but I have a bias to action”. I’ve taken a leaf out of his book and restarted this thread.

3 Likes

“I’m sure Beth’s perfectly aware of where testicles come from”

2 Likes

I don’t understand “black lives matter”. To me, all lives matter!

(White, American)

8 Likes

Can’t remember the exact quote, but yesterday one of my colleagues explained to me at length how ordering a takeaway for dinner is “so much easier than cooking it yourself”.

4 Likes

Colleague A: "What’s a canteloupe?"
Colleague B: “It’s like a deer, isn’t it?”

9 Likes

You, know, I’ve heard those exact same words from a (white, British) colleague of mine.

It was an incredibly frustrating conversation. “But it’s not all people that are getting shot, while unarmed, by police.” was met by “But I saw on the news the other week that a white guy got shot by the police in Philly!”

Hnnnngh

[canned laughter]

6 Likes

“it’s a latté. I’m a bit of a homosexual when it comes to coffee choices.”

Ok mate.

3 Likes

“I don’t know why you wouldn’t vote for Trump. They need to shake things up a bit over there”

“Are they actual clowns or just people dressed up?”

27 Likes

used to work with this girl who i thought was cool until i got a cappuccino and she goes THAT’S A BIT GAY, ISN’T IT?

1 Like

Colleague A: “How do you spell guillotine?”
Colleague B: “G-I-L-L-U - no that’s not right… That’s the laminating machine”
A: “Is that not what a guillotine is?”

Fucking hell. This is the same person who thought a cantaloupe was a type of deer a few weeks ago. Best of all, she gets left in charge when the transport manager is on holiday :frowning:

I’m assuming this means that there are people out there that will describe any coffee which isn’t a “normal” coffee as gay. Unbelievable.

Oh my.

“Who was that woman who got robbed recently, Kim Kurdistan?”

4 Likes

“Patents, eh? You must get a lot of bother from those BLOODY CHINESE!”

(technically an external contractor, but fucking hell)

Didn’t know you worked at the BBC, pal.

4 Likes

Just a dream, though. You can’t sack someone for having racist dreams. Literally political correctness gone mad.

1 Like

This isn’t a direct quote but recently a senior manager at my work gave a presentation on data protection. She was giving an example about the right to search your work email and used the phrase, “[Senior Manager] is an idiot,” as part of a thing she’d be allowed to search for. She then spent the rest of the two hour session repeating the phrase over and over again.

This particular manager was commonly regarded as an idiot before this incident.

3 Likes