Colleague quotes 2.0 (rolling)

We do this sort of crap at all our meetings. My ambition goes something like

“Mark Peters; corporate comms (finance division)”
“Fiona McIntyre; Finance procurement”
“Hello I’m Colin” <looks expectantly left, pleased with self>

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Clare just asked me if she needs a plumber to come round and fit her new fridge-freezer.

I said yes. Obvs.

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Shirley she just needs to make sure its connected to the cold pipe rather than the hot one…?

:laughing:

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“Does anyone have a spare Wi-Fi cable?”

:face_with_raised_eyebrow:

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“I wouldn’t want to be in prison, I’m not a lesbian.”

:expressionless:

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Today, someone kept saying power of eternity instead of attorney.

Tbh, I like the sound of that.

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I work with someone who genuinely believes that the UK will sink if we keep letting in immigrants.

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One of my old work colleagues was such a cunt, made this to capture some of his worst.

https://twitter.com/robrigosays

Glad I don’t work there anymore.

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Colleague A hits colleague B with a fairly tame dig at their outfit

Colleague C: shots fired

Colleague B: Well… well… yeah… shots not received!

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nice of you to @-mention kate winslet in that one where he called her a slut

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Oh shit, good point

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As in… sink into the ocean?

plus because they’ve had all that practice swimming across the Med they’ll all be able to get back to France, leaving us Britishers drowning in our own sovereign fishing grounds.

Wow, he does sound like a total turbocunt

This sounds like he’s twigged your limp-wristed hippy beliefs in shit like human rights and is on the wind up.

Yes

“I made my own ice cream once, and I couldn’t believe how much cream I had to use. It was literally ALL cream.”

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My boss is over from the US and yesterday described a scene from Superbad (“some film that came out in the US a few years ago”) to me in quite some detail apropos of absolutely nothing.

The bit where yer man called the cops to fake arrest him at a house party so he’d look cool.

Basically like that, but over ten minutes.

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