Colossal Sauce (Ethically Dubious Business Crowdsourcing Thread)

Sauce test update: Definitely leaning A rather than B, for everything really - taste, heat, consistency, colour. Dumped a load in a pasta sauce last night and it was fantastic.

That said, I ate a load of B on some chicken on Saturday, really moreish. The wife imparted that I “absolutely stank of garlic” afterwards though, although I think that risk comes with the territory.

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I haven’t been able to have nearly as much of the sauces as I’d like, as been struck down with the plague (mild cold) and haven’t been able to taste much of anything - didn’t want to waste such finely crafted sauces on my current state.

That said, A keeps getting added to the side of my plate no matter what I’m eating. Was great on top of an omlette the other day and good as a dunking sauce for pizza crusts too.

Also leaning heavily towards A but more for consistency reasons more than anything else. B was just a lot chunkier and less … sauce-like? Is that by design or did my particular batch just end up that way do you think.

EDIT Also pretty perfect heat levels for me, more than Sriracha so you know it’s actually a hot sauce but never too much to overwhelm what I’m eating, and can be used regularly rather than just dished out on special occasions.

It’s a bit of an anti-social sauce really. My boss at work has taken to asking me, “what are you having with your garlic today?” regardless of whether I’m using the sauce or not and whenever anyone asks, “ooh, what’s that smell?” the guy at the opposite end of the office sighs loudly and says, “garlic” as if it rhymes with, “pure scum.”

Screw 'em frankly. Garlic stench 4 lyf.


That’s interesting - B didn’t have as much pulpy stuff in it to work with so I would have expected it to be the least chunky of the two. With the other sauces I make I strain them and use some xantham gum to achieve a thick sauce consistency but if I strained DSOTB there wouldn’t be anything left! I reckon I’m gonna be aiming for A consistency wise (unless there’s some strong feedback in favour of B to sway my thinking ofc)

Huh, unless I’m mixing mine up then my version of B is way chunkier. Just has more, bigger bits of garlic. And I love the taste so I’m not saying it needs to be less of that flavour, just that the consistency was less ideal for pouring (or ar least to avoid dumping out a third of the bottle at once hah).

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how on earth can anyone “stink” of garlic? i suppose pavarotti was just “shouting” too wasn’t he. absolute fools.


It might be a result of blending in lots of liquid vs blending in largely solids? I’m not sure. I shouldn’t say too much as I don’t want to bias the feedback but Version B didn’t quite come out as what I was aiming for. But maybe it has some accidental magic? The public must decide!

Think I may have to postpone the lychee version B cooking till later in the week guys. I’ve somehow entirely knackered my knee so I’m gonna have to go home and rest up instead. Thanks for your patience*.

*He says assuming he’s not about to get a bunch of angry PMs from raging sauce junkies.

I got hold of some sauce on the black market and I can confirm that I liked B better. It also wasn’t as scarily hot as I thought it would be (although I only tasted a tiny bit). Definitely excited to try a fruity one.

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all of these delays are increasing the black market value of the remaining dabs of El Lycheedor rapidly

1k wired straight to my PayPal folks thats all it takes

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PS. Hope your knee gets better soon.

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Thanks man :+1: I’m feeling generally kinda unwell as well so I might watch some Lone Wolf and Cub and see if I can absorb some tips through that instead.


The main tip I can remember from that would be spikes in the cart. Sneaky, sneaky spikes.


Few problems in life can’t be solved by a weaponised baby buggy tbf

Could you do a Japanese themed one called The Shogun’s Decapitator please?


Just popped into this thread to post this (apologies if it’s already upthread somewhere)

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If that’s what Taco Bell can do for someone, imagine the magical powers of Colossal Sauce™


‘When drizzled by the neck, a sound like wailing winter winds is heard’


I’m supposed to know this but is that a haiku?

That’s a cracking name for one but if you don’t know the reference it’s a bit close to the EDGY MAN SAUCE names I’m keen to avoid. That’s my one rule on naming sauces.

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