Colossal Sauce (Ethically Dubious Business Crowdsourcing Thread)

Have you tired market stalls? Saw some lychees on my local one recently. Also, if you are buying a decent quantity maybe they would get them in for you if wanted to order them?

Also, do they freeze ok? Maybe you could stock up when you see them.

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I haven’t really - I’ve been meaning to get down to Cardiff market but I haven’t had a free weekend for a bit. Might be worth having a chat with one of the fruit and veg stall owners.

Good point on freezing - I haven’t thought of that. I’ll do some research :+1:

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Hi CH! Long time listener, first time caller. How many times have you toucher your eye or your nadgers with residual chilli on your fingers at this point?


^ Food Standards Agency narc


Thanks for calling Mr Chegg. That’s a good question! Since starting this enterprise it hasn’t happened all that much as I invested in a pack of latex gloves for chilli handling. Prior to that, so before Christmas, I managed to rub super-hot chillies into my eye about a million times. Almost every time I used them. I am not a clever man. Thankfully I’ve only spiced up the more sensitive areas a handful of times.

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I would say that by the mere investment of the gloves you have become a smart man. Do you have some goggles you wear to stop you rubbing your eyes?

I don’t - I’ve been meaning to get some to stop onion tears anyway so guarding against chilli fingers would be a bonus. Man, I’m gonna look truly majestic in my goggles and beard net.



Sauce test update: Definitely leaning A rather than B, for everything really - taste, heat, consistency, colour. Dumped a load in a pasta sauce last night and it was fantastic.

That said, I ate a load of B on some chicken on Saturday, really moreish. The wife imparted that I “absolutely stank of garlic” afterwards though, although I think that risk comes with the territory.

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I haven’t been able to have nearly as much of the sauces as I’d like, as been struck down with the plague (mild cold) and haven’t been able to taste much of anything - didn’t want to waste such finely crafted sauces on my current state.

That said, A keeps getting added to the side of my plate no matter what I’m eating. Was great on top of an omlette the other day and good as a dunking sauce for pizza crusts too.

Also leaning heavily towards A but more for consistency reasons more than anything else. B was just a lot chunkier and less … sauce-like? Is that by design or did my particular batch just end up that way do you think.

EDIT Also pretty perfect heat levels for me, more than Sriracha so you know it’s actually a hot sauce but never too much to overwhelm what I’m eating, and can be used regularly rather than just dished out on special occasions.

It’s a bit of an anti-social sauce really. My boss at work has taken to asking me, “what are you having with your garlic today?” regardless of whether I’m using the sauce or not and whenever anyone asks, “ooh, what’s that smell?” the guy at the opposite end of the office sighs loudly and says, “garlic” as if it rhymes with, “pure scum.”

Screw 'em frankly. Garlic stench 4 lyf.


That’s interesting - B didn’t have as much pulpy stuff in it to work with so I would have expected it to be the least chunky of the two. With the other sauces I make I strain them and use some xantham gum to achieve a thick sauce consistency but if I strained DSOTB there wouldn’t be anything left! I reckon I’m gonna be aiming for A consistency wise (unless there’s some strong feedback in favour of B to sway my thinking ofc)

Huh, unless I’m mixing mine up then my version of B is way chunkier. Just has more, bigger bits of garlic. And I love the taste so I’m not saying it needs to be less of that flavour, just that the consistency was less ideal for pouring (or ar least to avoid dumping out a third of the bottle at once hah).

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how on earth can anyone “stink” of garlic? i suppose pavarotti was just “shouting” too wasn’t he. absolute fools.


It might be a result of blending in lots of liquid vs blending in largely solids? I’m not sure. I shouldn’t say too much as I don’t want to bias the feedback but Version B didn’t quite come out as what I was aiming for. But maybe it has some accidental magic? The public must decide!

Think I may have to postpone the lychee version B cooking till later in the week guys. I’ve somehow entirely knackered my knee so I’m gonna have to go home and rest up instead. Thanks for your patience*.

*He says assuming he’s not about to get a bunch of angry PMs from raging sauce junkies.

I got hold of some sauce on the black market and I can confirm that I liked B better. It also wasn’t as scarily hot as I thought it would be (although I only tasted a tiny bit). Definitely excited to try a fruity one.

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all of these delays are increasing the black market value of the remaining dabs of El Lycheedor rapidly

1k wired straight to my PayPal folks thats all it takes

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PS. Hope your knee gets better soon.

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