Colossal Sauce II: The Saucening

Some of you might be old enough to remember when I first started banging on about hot sauce. There was a raffle, some saucey prizes, a strange Lychee and Tequila concoction, some Spicy Poirot…then taste tests were held, DiSers used as human guinea pigs…promises and bold declarations were made…

Then nothing. I suppose in my defense there was that period I was convinced society was about to collapse due to a global pandemic. That slowed me down a bit. But it’s been A Long Time. DiSers have come and gone. Some of you have produced multiple small human beings in this time. We’ve had at least a dozen prime ministers, each more clearly developed by some insane malevolent AI than the last. Colossal Sauce became the Chinese Democracy or Duke Nukem Forever of the condiment world. Hopefully, unlike both of those, it isn’t bleedin’ awful.

Anyhow - Colossal Sauce, is finally, finally launching on Monday*. The website is now live - you can’t buy anything on there yet and there’s still a lot yet to be added but it exists. I’ve got 8 litres of mango pickle on the go. I’m spending the rest of the day deep cleaning the kitchen and finding somewhere for all the boxes of bottles and packing stuff to live. It’s actually happening. I’m excited/terrified.

Colossal Sauce Website

*I’m picking up the labels later. I’m presuming these are ok and I’m not going to be doing another embarrassing climbdown. That’s a real victory for hope over experience that is.

76 Likes

Both excellent names for future products though.

3 Likes

Chinese Democracy seems like a needlessly controversial name for a hot sauce. But then I’m only selling in the UK so sod 'em frankly.

1 Like

Amazing stuff. That website is brilliant. If you need any e-commerce advice/help then feel free to hmu, it’s a big part of my job

2 Likes

I’ve done a trade mark clearance search for you and I’ve got some dreadful news: you now owe me £3500.

Also there aren’t registered marks on “colossal sauce” in the UK or the EU so you’re probably fine.

4 Likes

Dellemc Im Ready GIF by Dell Technologies

Yeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaa!
Nice one, looks excellent. Looking forward to putting an order in.

Exciting stuff, I’ll be returning when the stock is up to place an order.

Small piece of website feedback - the preview images on the product pages of the ingredients and nutrition information load too zoomed in on desktop Chrome, would be better if this was to scale:

Good luck!

2 Likes

I will definitely take you up on that. I’m not being modest or self-deprecating when I say I have no idea what I’m doing.

4 Likes

I’ve basically had to teach myself (now with a small amount of help from our new web designers) how to do it, and if I can anyone can.

1 Like

Should I be registering that? This thread is just going to be a parade of things I should really have already thought about, isn’t it?

Yus!

Liked the garlic sauce from ages back (and I never returned the sample bottles, like a twat)

The curry ketchup hits the spot perfectly, just on the stronger end for me. But it’s been good on many a chippie

The pickle hot sauce is the real winner, that mixed through some mayo makes some instantly perfect burger sauce

I’ll be in for several bottles

3 Likes

Ooh good spot. I know when you hover over the sauces on the main page it looks weird but I’m going to put some photos of the actual bottles on there once they’re made up. But I didn’t realise they weren’t showing right on the main page. I’ll look into that now. Cheers!

1 Like

All hail Mr Socks.
:black_cat:

3 Likes

i guess i’ll have to buy one of each, for science.

is the lychee one gonna be available, big horse? that was gooooood

1 Like

It costs a non-trivial amount of money so I wouldn’t bother until you’ve made your first sauce million.

I’ve been in business for over a year now and haven’t done mine and it’s a bit, er, more likely to be helpful/prevent problems for me and I haven’t bothered. I probably should though.

Don’t ever take advice from me.

1 Like

I’m going to figure out how to do that one as a short run thing at some point. It’s a bit expensive to make compared to the rest of them. But it was while eating a cheese toastie slathered with that at 2am while a bit toasted myself that convinced me I should give that a go so I have to share it with the world somehow.

1 Like

yesssssssssssssssssss

will be picking up all three when they’re in stock

remember fondly being a winner of one of those raffles and the sauce you made me was absolutely increds

2 Likes

I dearly wish i could handle heat because these are gonna be incredible.

Well done! :muscle::partying_face:

3 Likes

Well done and good luck with your venture CH

How hot are the sauces? Will they blow my head off?

1 Like