I was flying back from a work trip through Nuremberg airport. The security guard pulled me out of the security queue for a pat down. Very stern. No talking. No eye contact either. Very… German.
After the arms and legs, he points towards my crotch. Sorry, what? I say I don’t understand. He points towards my crotch again. Does he want to check behind the waistband? Do I need to show him… something? I don’t understand. I say so again.
He locks eyes with me and exaggeratedly looks at my crotch. I do too. He was trying to tell me my shirt was sticking out through my fly.
Would have had to untie it from around my waist first, obviously.
last time I was at security they ran their hand along the inside the waistband of my boxers. seemed a bit over the top. he touched my pubes
is this a regular thing now? I don’t remember it ever happening before
As a drunken young person on our way back from a night out, some of the people I was with decided to scale a flagpoll outside a new housing estate to steal the building company flag which was flying at the top. Despite the danger, they managed to do it and we went on our way. When we were about 50-70m away, a police car pulled up next to us, which as a person with a clean criminal record caused me to panic that shit was about to get real. The police got out and told us to stop where we were, and since I didn’t want to rub them up the wrong way, I instinctively turned towards the nearest wall, put my hands up against it and spread my legs, ready to be searched like they do on TV. As I was standing there, after a moment of silence, I heard the police burst out laughing and told me to turn round. They told us off for being idiots and made us take the flag back, but that was it. My friends, however, had a lot of fun mocking my gritty detective show perp reaction for weeks after.
In 1997, I fell asleep watching the General Election results on BBC1. Woke up at 5am to see the whole map was orange and thought that the Lib Dems had won with a landslide.
It was the BBC Weather
That made me laugh out loud.
One of the greatest things to ever be broadcast on TV this
You should turn this experience into a rap it would be like JayZ 99problems but much funnier
Angie Bowie found out David Bowie had died while she was in big brother. Told one of the housemates who thought she meant David gest who was also in the big brother house at the time
but not only that, the three people that could have put a stop to the madness were all otherwise indisposed- one was in the shower, another in the diary room, the other asleep in bed, presumed dead.
you’ve still neglected to mention the real kicker of the whole incident being the fact that after Big Brother David Gest announced this tour comically referencing the incident
and then died before it began.