Is there a thread in this? Probably not.
Anywho, was on the Kleenex website this morning and saw they go really hard being like “we’re kind to NOSES. Soft for noses!!! Noses only!” And I was like yeah okay Kleenex whatever makes you feel better 
So like… what companies desperately try and pretend their product isn’t mainly used for something else?
Lying is an integral part of being a commodity
also pringles, you just stop
Not if you’re funkhouser
I only use tippex for bleaching my arsehole. Yeah whatever Tippex, no one uses a typewriter any more NERDS
That Hitachi Magic Wand thing that has never ever been used as a back massager
Literally was typing this out^
‘Personal massagers’ in general with the ad showing them on a shoulder or leg or something .
Baby oil.
Goes on babies does it?
NOPE.
Also, they’re lying becuase they’re not even soft.
Bamboo liners (used for nappies I think) are where it’s at if you have a cold/flu. Farewell red, dry skin on your nose.
HASHTAG LIFE HACKS
“Room odorizers”
Dioralyte says it’s for “diarrhea” or some shit when it’s really magic hangover powder
Never thought of this before, that’s so true.
Why would babies need oiling up? They don’t need massages, they’re not exactly stressed.
Ooooh, that will come in handy for hayfever season!!!
There’s an advert at the minute for Weetabix where they show people eating Weetabix with natural yoghurt and raspberries, peach slices etc.
Fuck off lads. No one is doing that. Weetabix is your bog standard ‘with milk’ cereal only. Stop kidding yourselves. Natural yoghurt ffs.
actually, it helps them get their poo out 
Jfc. Sometimes I get a bit broody and then I read something like that and 
poof it’s gone
Used to have it with honey and bluebs, felt very #decadent
But milk though, right?
“do not insert cotton buds into ear canal”
Sorry Johnson & Johnson, but you lost this battle decades ago.
Oh yeah of course I’m not a monster