Conkers Flaw


#1

I played conkers fro the first time in quite a while this weekend. The flaw is that the best players (ie me) do more damage to their own conker than that of the person they are striking.


#2

You a vinegar soaker mate?


#3

Then the only way to truly win is to not play. Which makes you the loser.


#4

Ffs, have some decorum.


#5

Think I tried a bit of everything in my youth but these were chazzer efforts, pre-strung. Quid a pop - great fundraising idea.


#6

What was the cause?


#7

they’re free if you pick em up off the ground you idiot


#8

not if you’re good


#9

Prostate cancer I think. I was beaked up from soup to nuts, I’m afraid.


#10

What?


#11

Aye


#12

If you have the best conker, you don’t do damage to your own, just to other’s terrible, weak, cuck conkers.

Did everyone else have the same rules as we did? If your conker beat another first time conker, you were a one-er, right? Then a two-er, a three-er etc. But if you beat another conker that already had it’s own rank higher than yours, you assumed their total, plus one. So if you were a three-er and beat a six-er, you became a seven-er (I don’t know why you didn’t add your total to theirs, we were kids).


#13

three-er beating six-er creates a nine-er in my world


#14

Yeah but a hugely talented player should be able to win no matter what the conker. Otherwise, much like formula one/netrunner, it is a mockery of a sport dominated by those with the best equipment.


#15

Hmm, that makes more sense. Maybe we did it like that and I forgot. Maybe we were just idiots who couldn’t add up.


#16

The conkers are all dying aren’t they? In future kids are just going to have to adapt traditional games and use the testicles of immigrants instead.


#17

Everything’s dying, Colin.


#18

Or not be a bunch of poshos and play a real playground ‘game’ like ‘knuckles’


#19

Knuckles doesn’t even scar, Walter the Softy! Chicken claw.


#20

hmmm

the difference is that usually the conker player is like both the f1 driver and the f1 engineer in one package.

unless of course they buy shit lazy pre-made conkers instead of putting the hard graft in collecting, selecting and stringing them themselves. then they are like netrunners.