Convoluted Nicknames

Very tangentially inspired by @NeilYoung’s “names for parents” discussion: what wonderfully random yet logical nicknames do you/your friends/family etc have? More convoluted the better. My examples:

My high school friend Colin was called “Malcolm”. Sounds random, but no: his surname was Campbell, and at the time Campbell’s Meatballs were advertised by the character “Malcolm Meatballhead”, so Malcolm it was.

Similarly, to my home village’s boomer generation, I’m known as “Young Roger”. This is because my dad goes by his middle name Miller, and after Italia '90, his chums/cronies/acquaintances/colleagues/sympathisers/compadres/associates/contemporaries/well-wishers started calling him “Roger” in tribute to the ageing but prolific Cameroonian striker Roger Milla. I have the same name as my dad and also use the same middle name, hence the “Young Roger”.

What you got?


We call my friend Alex by the name Stan as we thought that’d be the name of his cat should he ever own one. Somehow he’s ended up as Stan ever since that conversation


Call one of my buddies Beaver because he eats corn on the cob like a beaver


my dad was nicknamed ‘beaver’ at work. I have also been assigned this nickname at work.

wonder why.

aw shit.


My friend Dave (short for David) has a mate called “The Knopf”, because he doesn’t look like Mark Knopfler.


:rofl: :joy: :rofl:

You couldn’t make it up!!

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For a while in school one guy referred to me as The Unionist - always in an offensively bad Irish accent. The first part of my surname rhymes with "Ul’… So ‘Ulster’… ‘Ulster union’.

He was a bit of a Wally, in many ways.

Knew a Graham at university whose nickname was Process. He’d had some friends that took pleasure in continually updating his nickname so that over the course of six months his name ran:

Graham > Ham > Spam > Processed Meat > Process


Bloke at work called ‘Mustard’ because his surname is Colmer, which is almost like Colman off of Colman’s mustard.

A kid at school was known as Ed. He had lots of freckles and curly ginger hair so ‘Ed’ was short for "Look at his 'ead!

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My friend Bhupendra at university became known as Scoop.

Bhupendra > Bhupen > Bhupa > Pooper Scooper > Scoop

There are still people back home who know me by a nickname that is part of my old surname before I changed it, which is confusing to people who’ve never known me by that name.

Best nickname I ever heard was told by a stand up whose name I can’t recall.

It was a lad they all called Mumbo

This was because his mum came to pick him up once and had b.o.

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Greg wossname, angry head teacher from The Inbetweeners

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My brother’s pokemon are always nicknamed and i find some of them so funny idk why. Gengar - nightlife, whimsicott - playtime, heatran - slag (like molten slag). Love it