Cooking Disasters

Times when you/someone you know got in drunk/decided it would be a good idea/just proved how shite your/their cooking skills are.

Came in smashed when I was living with me dear ol’ ma. Next morning she came into my room with a small charred black disc. Had put a pizza in the oven and then taken myself off to bed.

But no, mother, that could not have burnt the house down.


Woman I used to work with cooked a pizza for the first time and flipped it over halfway through to do both sides. She ended up marrying an Italian iirc


Had a really lazy slob of a flatmate who put a pie in the oven after a night out and went to sleep. The lad who lived in the downstairs room woke up thinking the house was on fire as there was smoke all over. The pie was so burnt it looked like a cartoon cannonball


Once came home and put a smoked salmon sandwich in the toastie maker :pensive:


Gave myself food poisoning from not heating a microwave curry properly.

Got home from a night out during first year of uni, they turned off the power to the hobs at midnight for some stupid reason, anyway mate of mine really wants some pasta so puts some in the kettle and boils it. Went tits up and cut power to half of the building for almost a day

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As a result of a mix up with the timer on the oven, I came home to a gammon joint that had been reduced to a lump of charcoal after roasting for 8 or so hours.

Guy at work tells a story of coming home drunk and eating a raw bacon sandwich.

Made up a bowl of batter for pancake day at uni at like 2am, called my flatmate in to get started with making them, did a big grand arm gesture to show off my hard work … batter all over the ceiling, floor, walls, windows. No idea how the letting company never noticed the stains but hey.

Friend at school also dropped his cake in Home Ec so he accidentally made Pineapple Right-Way-Up cake


Once got up on a Sunday morning, put on a big pan of stock to boil, forgot about it and drove to Chichester for a day out. Got to Chichester, remembered I’d left the pan on, drove immediately home and turned the pan off. The stock was fine. I’ve never been back to Chichester.

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