Correct Procedure

Tying a Shoelace in public

• you’ve noticed your Shoelace is undone and you are in public
•make it very apparent that you have noticed this problematic Shoelace by looking at it, looking back up and then looking back down again
• check behind and in front of you to see if stopping is going to be a problem
• if path is clear deviate off of current path to somewhere where you won’t be a nuisance should someone approach the path before you have finished tying
• take a knee
• double knot
• switch legs and check other shoe while you’re down there
• stand up, satisfied
• look both ways before rejoining path towards destination
• have a great day

  • Correct
  • Incorrect

0 voters

Absolutely not, I’m a busy man

just fukn kick your leg as hard as you can so ur boot goes flying off down the street YOLO

  • coREKT
  • incrrct

0 voters

↑ laces wanker

Someone on my recent holiday list a shoe whilst bungee jumping because she used the incorrect procedure

But the other lace could come undone at any time. Not checking because you’re busy is an absolute false economy.

Saw this happen to a guy on Saturday night, his shoe AND sock came off. Really don’t know how he managed that.


I just tie them right the first time :man_shrugging:

You arrogant fool

Yeah. You tye the shoelace that’s come loose and then you realise the other shoelace is then not as tight. Best to do both whilst you’re there.

1 Like

When someone tells you your shoelace is undone

  • Oh,thanks
  • Actually quite annoying,nobody has ever fallen over their shoelace and I was going to notice at some point anyway so you’ve kind of wasted everyone’s time here

0 voters

Good to know tbh. Obviously nobody has ever tripped over a Shoelace but I don’t wanna be dragging it in rainwater and piss thanks

1 Like

tuck your lace inside your shoe and fix it when you get to your destination


Using passport gates at airports

  • Have passport pre-opened to photo page and held in orientation for seamless contact with the reader
  • Use standard ocular assessment technique of queue flow on approach
  • Refine assessment up until moment of queue joining by keeping an eye out for anyone who looks like they’re going to be an absolute fanny
  • Once in queue, commence hawk-like monitoring of gate lights for your turn
  • The microsecond you see the green tick, walk briskly into the gate area
  • Align pre-opened passport with reader
  • Remove glasses, because even though they say you don’t need to you absolutely cannot risk not getting this right the first time
  • stare at camera with neutral expression
  • When permitted, walk briskly through the gate
  • Continue brisk walk until AT LEAST 10 metres clear of exit area
  • Correct procedure
  • Incorrect procedure

0 voters

1 Like

guy the other day ran after me a bit to tell me. Like, chill out mate wtf! Was with my kids as well so then my 5 year old was all “daddy can’t tie his shoes!”

Comes out far too quickly imo and can also be uncomfortable. I’d rather deal with the problem asap. I am a MAN OF ACTION

god I love you

1 Like

They’re absolutely right here tbh, and you deserve this


Kneel down like some kind of chump? No, I will walk for yards, nay, miles, until I find an appropriate piece of street furniture, or low garden wall or similar, where I can lift my foot up and tie my lace.


No chat until we’re AT LEAST 10 posts clear of the poll exit, we’ll get in the way

1 Like