How many do you have? 2

Who’s ya favourite? Heather

Who’s the black sheep? None really, they’re decent people

Are you type that is friends with your cousins or the type that might see them once a decade at gatherings? We hang out every so often

Banged any of em? Noooo

My dad has 3 cousins and my mum has 99 cousins, mad that innit? Yes


Depending how you cut it, I have 13, 15, or… more. 20, maybe (step-cousins-specific). All on my mum’s side, as my dad only had one brother with no kids. Last time I saw some of them was my gran’s funeral, but usually try and meet up some of them a few times a year…

The extra 2 cousins are from my mum’s half-brother, whom I only found out about when I was 16. He seemed nice, but it was just super, super weird that he was someone that I literally had no idea about up until that point…


Four cousins - two on each side. My mam hasn’t spoken to one of her brothers in over twenty years and one in ten, so I may have more.

All four are OK but we’re not friends. Due to my mother’s feuding, haven’t seen my Blyth cousins in a long time; my dad’s side just aren’t keeping in touch people.

We’re pretty much all strangers - I don’t know who the black sheep is.


I have a shed load - 15 on my mum’s side but only a paltry 4 on my dad’s. This is partly a result of my mum having been one of seven children.

Four of my cousins on my mum’s side died young deaths (all in their late 20s/early 30s) - a mixture of drugs, alcohol, and one who had an undiagnosed heart defect. No black sheep as such but a few got into heroin and one in particular ended up in constant trouble with the police. He was quite well-known in Bradford (for the wrong reasons) and I remember in school when I was ‘outed’ as being his cousin - something I was embarrassed about but which the rougher lads thought was a badge of honour.

I’m closer to some than others. My mum babysat for several when she was a teenager and as a result they were always the ones we saw a lot when I was a kid. Now only tend to see them at weddings and funerals but they’re mostly a good bunch.


No 1st cousins

Have about 50-60 second cousins, one of which is semi famous goalkeeper, and another, as it turns out, is a big wig in catalan politics. Probably a hundred third cousins, idk.

fave is probably Jose. top lad. never married or been in a serious relationship but is absolutely full of banter, the lad.

black sheep - probably me and my sister since we grew up in the UK

yes, I am friends with my cousins.



How many do you have?

I have at least 31 first cousins, possibly more.

Who’s ya favourite?

Liza would be my favourite. Ten years older than me, into all the same music. She used to come to all our gigs when we played in her town and we went to see Grandaddy together. Don’t see her as much since she’s had kids but she’s brilliant and I get on really well with her.

Who’s the black sheep?

I don’t think there is one to be honest. Though we all followed different paths no-one stands out too much. Maybe Smokey for his drug-dealing days in the 2000s but even he’s straightened out now.

Are you type that is friends with your cousins or the type that might see them once a decade at gatherings?

Was really good friends with my second cousin until a massive falling out which saw me kick him out of my parents’ house. See most of the rest at weddings, funerals and at Christmas. They’re a good bunch.

Banged any of em?


My dad has 3 cousins and my mum has 99 cousins, mad that innit?



went to uni with one of my cousins but had never met him before

looked him up on social media before the semester started, bumped into him at a poster sale, said to him “i think you’re my cousin”, and he was.

great story, would tell again.


why can’t I wrap my head around this

your cousins daughter married your brother?


Yep. That’s it. He’s married to our cousin’s daughter.

Cousin is 15 years older than him. The daughter is five years younger than him. Something like that.

The two of them had never actually met each other until they were already in their early 20s.


I have 5 cousins, 2 on my dads side and 3 on my mums side. I currently have 3 second cousins once removed (soon to be 4 cause my cousin is preg)

i was closest to my cousin who looks and acts a lot like Jessica Knappett.

I am the black sheep (aka the only one who went to live and work in london when the rest are all 2 mins from their parents)

See my mums family more than my dads side. Saw those cousins last at my granddads funeral and barely recognized them.



5 cousins - saw them all the time as a kid now only seen them twice at weddings in the last 20 years? 3 live in Dubai earning all the cash. Youngest is probably the black sheep who lives at home but he’s normal really. No banging.


I’ve got 13 cousins. I was close with some of them growing up but haven’t seen most of them in a long time. One Auntie had six kids and three of them went to prison. Even though at least three of my cousins have been in prison I think I’m the black sheep because I didn’t have three kids before the age of 25 and I moved away.

My parents have each got loads of cousins as my Grandmas were both one of 12 kids and my Grandads were both one of eight. I went to school with a girl who was the granddaughter of one of my dad’s cousins. It kind of blew my mind at the time because I could not fathom how we were related and how my dad could have a cousin that much older than him. Almost every time I go out with my dad he runs into a cousin I’ve never heard of.


Loads on my dad’s side (catholic family). I’m the oldest. Saw lots of them at my sister’s wedding a few years ago, first time in years. They were all adults somehow?

Only one on my mum’s side. Proper white trash - he’s about 40 now, lives with (/sponges off) my essentially infirm grandparents, works in Halfords a few hours a week and makes most of his money selling home-made vaping liquids. Pretty sure he has tribal tats.


I have three. Two are brother and sister. All grew up a fair bit apart and didn’t see each other much a lot, once or twice a year maybe. They’re really weird, genuinely don’t think I’ve had a conversation with the youngest one who’s three years younger than me. Always annoying ehen I do see them though and my gran will sit all the cousins together to talk about ‘young folk’ stuff. I remember my older cousin once asking me if I watched Breaking Bad. I’d actually watched the final episode a few days previously but told him that I’d never seen any of it.

Didn’t get invited to my other older cousin’s wedding, thank fuck.


I don’t know