I’m investigating ruff-dawg, I don’t know if I’ll go through with it.

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At least there’s no bloody Ballance in the first test. England look they need a bit of help from the pitch or conditions - Woakes is the quickest out of that lot? Australian batting line up doesn’t exactly have you quaking in your boots though - obvs Smith and Warner (if he plays) can pile em on, and I like Khawaja, but the rest are probably on a par with our lot?

Really hope Bairstow can have a good series, if he could be what Prior was a bunch of times, it’d be such a great boon. Knock a hopefully tiring bowling attack around a bit. Got to bat plenty of time before that though, get that Kookaburra ball dead with minimal wickets lost. Hoping Stoneman’s aussie experience comes through.

Fair enough man. I appreciate not everyone has the same appetite/tolerance for eye-wateringly bad puns.

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This is quite a good read -

The Analyst with Simons Hughes and Mann can be quite a decent listen.

“score runs”

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Rugby is horribly predictable come at me

A big team gets an unimpressive win against a minnow and it’s considered a massive shock.

Im feeling a thread in this

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“take wickets”

I’ve taken the next two days off so I can watch us get annihilated and fuck up my sleeping pattern simultaneously. Got the days off for the Perth test too. Really need to evaluate my life choices.

Good move - was just thinking I wish I’d booked tomorrow off.
I’m focused on staying awake to watch the first hour.

Fixed!

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Can’t believe you’ve butchered my thread title without even asking me :triumph:

Actually that was poor form, sorry. (I can change it back?)

Nah it’s alright man.

I’m just clutching at straws for a way to will England to victory. Can someone like GazBaz do a Trott and mark middle and off for six hours at a time?

I’m remaining cautiously optimistic but I think that’ll change by the time I head to bed at 1am. Really hope Stoneman opens well.

Still in shock this isn’t on sky. Wait nearly 30 years for sky and then the ashes isn’t on sky. Just in shock. It’s too much to take in

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My dad was looking forward to getting home from the footie and watching the first session, until I mentioned it was on BT Sport.

At least I’ve got my dodgy-box for tonight and tomorrow. Not sure what I’m going to do at the weekend when I’m at work though

Do you know anybody with BT Sport that you could borrow log on deets for the app? That’s what I do.

I’ve seen Cameron Bancroft play for Gloucestershire a bit. He had some decent knocks, but nothing to make me think he was going to be a future Ashes opening batsman. So expect him to be closing in on a triple century this time tomorrow