Crime 👋

Social
573

Okay, I’m gonna keep reading up until this sort of bants dies down

574

can anyone here in the guardian comments section tell me how to get back to drownedinsound.com

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575

If you’re keeping reading until my tepid banter runs out you’re in for a long night pal

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576

I don’t even understand the euphemism.

577

Don’t know much about history
Don’t know much biology
Don’t know much about a science book,
Don’t know much about the french I took
But I do know that shoplifting is morally acceptable
And I know that if you shoplift savoury snacks, too,
What a wonderful world this would be

1 Like
579

If I was in a shop and saw still here nicking hair gel and pine nuts:

  • I would inform my nearest security guard/ring 999/set off a flare/scream
  • Am no a grass

0 voters

580

citizen’s arrest!

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581

Put your hands on the pine nuts and prepare to die!

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582

Depends of it was in my shop or not

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583

PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE CAR AND GET READY TO DIE

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584

fucked it

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585

I’m probably going to say “Hi Meowington!” at someone who just looks like they might be you and get a “What a weirdo” look in return.

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586

Please do! :joy:

587

This whole thread is like some Marxist version of this

936×1020 77.5 KB

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588

Just read this entire thread. Very entertaining! Well done everyone!

A lot of people talking sense. A lot of people not.

But ultimately the thread was OWNED by @TheBarbieMovie2023 and her condoms.

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589

Not really sure what “hose out my gutter means”. Not sure I want to

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590

I saw Karl Marx at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen pine nuts in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the nuts and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each pine nut and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

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591

They called it “cake” when I was young.

592

It’s fairly obvious…

593

TLDR

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