Cruise ship holidays

Never been on a boat, so think I’d have to start off with the Woolwich Ferry or something and build my way up.

But also it’s my idea of hell for a number of reasons, so no I wouldn’t.



Summertime (southern hemisphere, obvs)



Don’t like the idea of a cruise.

Do like watching Cruisin’ with Jane McDonald for some weird reason.

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real energy from those nazi cruise ships they all used to go on here

this is worse imo, but great because its from the best news story of the last decade.


Any video with ‘mass brawl’ in the title that doesn’t have footage of a mass brawl can, quite frankly, eff off as far as I’m concerned

gonna repost as I’m already creased up laughing:

A holidaymaker dressed as a clown prompted a mass brawl on a cruise ship in which passengers used furniture and plates as weapons, according to witnesses.

The late-night fight in the buffet area onboard P&O’s Britannia left a member of staff injured as they tried to intervene while onlookers fled in fear.

The brawl, which took place in the early hours of Friday morning during the return leg of a week-long cruise to Norway’s fjords, reportedly followed an alcohol-fuelled afternoon of “patriotic” partying on deck.

He said that, after hearing the tannoy, he went to the restaurant where he found “shocked” passengers. “One witness, part of a group involved in the trouble, explained to staff that things kicked off when another passenger appeared dressed as a clown. This upset one of their party because they’d specifically booked a cruise with no fancy dress. It led to a violent confrontation,” he wrote.


Have been on one all inclusive holiday ever and I didn’t like it at all. But at least you could leave the resort.

This remains one of the great quotes of our age.


just imagining a clown walking into a fine dining establishment with everyone in suits and going


Bloody love a cruise. It’s basically an easy way to have a load of one day city breaks without having to get on a plane. Most of the ships have enough space that you can avoid people if you want to although I will concede that yes, there is some shitty behavior from other guests.

Cruise pros -

See lots of places
Food is great
All night buffet
Cheap bars
People watching
Kids clubs so can be an adult for a bit while the kid is entertained and safe

Cruise cons -

Other people
No flexibility on where you go
Typically only 9 - 5 in each port

I manage the call centre for a cruise brand. AMA (about cruises).

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Was your nan on the Titanic experience a la an early episode of Rick and Morty?

This somehow makes me feel worse about Come on Eileen than it sounding like COVID-19.

Plus, OK, it was written by Brummies, but a million yer da’s waving mini Union Jacks to a hit with such an Irish folk influence is one for The Brits Are At It Again.

Oh right, that sounds pretty good. I thought you stayed on the boat - forgot about the docking and getting off for a mooch.

Why aren’t those disrespectful cunts wearing poppies?

I’ve done a Nile cruise (Luxor - Aswan - Luxor) twice. Amazing both times, would go again. Not entirely sure if I’d like to go on an enormo-cruise though. Perhaps to the Norwegian fjords.

oh my god, my mum has always said she’d love to go on a cruise that doesn’t leave the dock! And we can get to Tilbury pretty easily lol