#1

Do you ever write them? Like on Amazon the BBC iPlayer app has 4201 reviews. Who are these people and why do they bother? After 20 reviews or something, who cares?

The 4198th review says “Great for BBC catch up”.

#2

Feel like most of them are incentivised when it comes to apps

#3

subquestion: is there a less funny bit of ongoing internet bants than people writing self-cosciously zany reviews for nondescript or obviously very bad products?

#4

Was very funny in the early days of the world wide web, can’t imagine why anyone would do it in 2K17

6 Likes
#5

I will on occasion complete a feedback survey if doing so enters me in to a prize draw where I can win great prizes.

1 Like
#6

Review the £18,000 car you’ve just bought from us for your chance to win a £10 Amazon voucher.

Cheers mates.

#7

Good luck!

1 Like
#8

Just want to say I love/hate Amazon reviews which have clearly missed out on an important aspect of the thing they are buying. e.g.

"RED LAMP (It’s a lamp where you never need to replace the lightbulb, it lasts forever, and only shines red!)

1/5 - Pile of **** I’m gutted
review by Joe Twatsticks
The bulb on this keep shining ***ing red for sum reason can’t make heads or tails won’t bother returning and gettin me hard earned money back becuz this is total scam turned up late as well my postie is shockin"

1 Like
#9

People who complain about the delivery on product reviews can all walk naked backwards through a field of dicks, tbqfh

4 Likes
#10

If only for these product reviews, customer reviews are great:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-Men-Hair-Removal-Cream/dp/B000KKNQBK

Tend to agree with @Aggpass though, people who don’t comment on the product should have Veet applied to their nethers. Liberally.

#11

really enjoy when people mistake a reviews section for their personal complaint section

toaster 1 star out of 5
ARRIVED ONE DAY LATE!!! consequently could NOT have toast until wednesday when i had required toast on the tuesday

2 Likes
#12

also £6 seemed a bit steep!

1 Like
#13

I will occasionally review stuff but generally it will have to be because it doesn’t have many reviews. Otherwise all you ever do is check the 1 and 2 star reviews to see if anyone who’s not a maniac has reviewed it for actual issues.

Big fan of this 2-star review on the ebook of Kipling’s Kim that I downloaded:

5 Likes
#14

i’m very glad to be able to agree with you on this, theo

#15

see also:
People who comment on the performance:

Amazing product! Have to mark down reliability because I’ve only had it for 2 hours

1 Like
#16

i remember enjoying the ones that someone from here (or their mate) used to do.

#17

There are amazing number of penny-pinchers on Amazon you realise when you start buying tat for your kids.

I bought a beezum witch style broom for the girl and one reviewer was seemingly outraged that for £2.70 (or something) all they got was a big stick with lots of little sticks attached, like it had only just dawned on them, after spending less than the cost of a pint, they could have made it themselves.

I bought a pack of six wooden cars once. They were fine, brightly painted and cost about £5. Someone was complaining that their child had smashed one against something and it had chipped the paint, so clearly these were not good value for money.

Fucking hell.

#18

And people who review something because “it looks good” but “it’s for Christmas and my grandson hasn’t opened it yet”. Idiots.

2 Likes
#19

Reviews on tripadvisor are worth less and less this year or two.

“could you leave us a good review on tripadvisor please”

#20

And likewise people who write ‘excellent cd, just what I wanted’ on the seller feedback page. Stop doing it wrong.